tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37493579962980499042024-03-24T14:59:27.463-07:00Small and SimpleCheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.comBlogger90125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-48269705321155090182022-09-13T06:07:00.000-07:002022-09-13T06:07:42.815-07:00Queen Vashti<p>The story of Esther, in the Book of Esther in the Bible, is one of a woman coming into a position of power and eventually saving her people. She came to the kingdom “for such a time as this”. The past few weeks I have turned my attention to how she became queen. Let’s revisit the story.</p><p>First of all, this King Ahasuerus or Xerxes (whichever you prefer) was the king of a HUGE region! From India to Ethiopia is a vast amount of land (and water as the crow flies). Three years into his reign he invites all the nobles and princes from ALL the provinces to come and view his majesty. The Bible says “he shewed the riches of his glorious kingdom and the honor of his excellency for 180 days”, so for six months he was showing off his riches. At the end of that time, he made a feast for all the people in his palace. The people drank from vessels of gold, each one was uniquely made (we aren’t talking red solo cups here), there was royal wine in abundance. They slept in gold and silver beds, with beautiful swaths of material draped on cords. They walked on marble floors in a variety of hues. While the King is entertaining the men, Queen Vashti had a feast for the women in the royal house.</p><p>That’s when things get a little interesting. The Bible mentions (Esther 1:8) that these men were given all the wine they wanted “according to their pleasure” and on the seventh day (Esther 1:10) “when the heart of the king was merry with wine” he wanted Queen Vashti to be brought in wearing her crown to show off her beauty. But she refused.</p><p>Let’s stop there for a minute. This is a woman who is married to the most powerful man for thousands of miles around. Was she being a stinker? Was she the picture of entitlement thinking she was beautiful and the queen so really, what would the king do? Was she just too tired after all that entertaining? While these ideas are plausible, there is one more idea that I think should be considered. Maybe she too, was put in the kingdom for “such a time as this.”</p><p>She had to have been fully aware of the ramifications possible for refusing to do what the king asked. She was the queen after all. Is it possible that she had a strong sense of self and viewed herself as more than just a display? Is it possible that she knew she would be going into a room full of drunken men and there was no telling what the king would ask of her then? Did she value the women who were the wives of some of the men and didn’t like the idea of being paraded in front of them? Could she have been prompted in advance to say, “no,” because God was working His plan? We don’t really know the reason she refused to go, but for whatever reason, because she did not go to the king, it paved the way for Esther to come in and soon save her people. After all, what if Vashti had complied? There would be no story of Esther. </p><p>Whether Vashti was truly spoiled and thought herself “above the law”, or an amazing woman who knew her worth and wouldn’t violate that for a room full of drunk men, we will probably never truly know. Whatever she was, she played the part the Lord needed her to play and because of it we see miracles in behalf of the Jews through lovely Queen Esther.</p><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjohGpfaBLKDpS4SHHOpGntqumNmnPKPLuFnktUeQ4QDdRPw9DJBh6_-htFaYY3qJkKku2gxOJPY6yb9upvom47ISadUTdcVnd-OI7741pYO5aDRiV0jnWMgE6hPSvNDgSPwPZntr-B6eLWkkP4BtgJ5OfuTNBHkKo5myM76Kl9Mn-klQTnuQbeJ_vv" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="555" data-original-width="828" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjohGpfaBLKDpS4SHHOpGntqumNmnPKPLuFnktUeQ4QDdRPw9DJBh6_-htFaYY3qJkKku2gxOJPY6yb9upvom47ISadUTdcVnd-OI7741pYO5aDRiV0jnWMgE6hPSvNDgSPwPZntr-B6eLWkkP4BtgJ5OfuTNBHkKo5myM76Kl9Mn-klQTnuQbeJ_vv" width="320" /></a></div><br />Feel free to leave a comment! I read some of the traditions about Queen Vashti and they are all fascinating, but vary widely. Who do you think she was?</div>Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-64117368778276418762020-11-29T22:16:00.000-08:002020-11-29T22:16:27.606-08:00Broken<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-4Hr2-6dG8wI/X8SN3FFO8MI/AAAAAAABBlo/Zx_rNjVqSZI2RQBFxuN_TpyCVYCVQbVIgCLcBGAsYHQ/image.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="571" data-original-width="750" height="240" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-4Hr2-6dG8wI/X8SN3FFO8MI/AAAAAAABBlo/Zx_rNjVqSZI2RQBFxuN_TpyCVYCVQbVIgCLcBGAsYHQ/image.png" width="315" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Tough as Nails, Built to Last, Practically Perfect in Every Way. These
slogans and thoughts seem to sum up what we strive for and yet they would
deprive us of what we need most.<o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<p class="MsoNormal">I think we underestimate the power and sanctity of being
broken. Something that is whole and perfect does not need the touch of a
Master. It holds its form and performs its function just fine, thank you very
much. I mean really who wants a broken pitcher? No one, it will not hold water.
That was what it was created for, right?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And yet, what if that pitcher needs to spend some more time
in the Creator’s hands? What if that pitcher needs to be held more, talked to
more, adjusted, glued and repainted? What if those cracks and pieces are
essential for that pitcher, not to hold water, but to sit on a shelf and hold
the last flowers a mother picked from her garden and are now dried and
remembered daily by her child? What if instead of holding water, that pitcher
is the unexpected safe place for the family’s meager savings? That brokenness
didn’t change that the pitcher is needed and serves a purpose. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In Japan, they have Kintsugi. It is a tradition of taking a
broken piece, maybe a teacup, and gluing it back together using gold, silver or
platinum dusted epoxy. The idea being that there is beauty in things that are
imperfect, that things should not be wasted, and that we need to accept change.
Those are some pretty powerful and beautiful ideas. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The pharisees in ancient times were, in their minds, pretty
darn close to perfect. They knew the law, they kept the law, unlike the dirty
and flawed beings around them. Yet the Master came to the “flawed” ones and they became more beautiful, worked
into something new. Not wasted. Changed.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I no longer fear being broken, I fear not realizing when I
am broken and needing to spend more time with my Creator, the Master Healer. I
don’t want to be a wasted work. I am His creation. I am broken. I am able to be
fixed by Him. My brokenness does not make me useless or worthless. On the
contrary, I may be more valuable, more pleasing to the eye if I allow more time
in the Master’s hands. <o:p></o:p></p></div><p><br /></p>Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-45278692333354491012020-10-29T05:18:00.003-07:002020-10-29T05:18:59.303-07:00Will We Betray Him?<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Recently we heard a message at church called “Love Your Enemies”
by Dallin H. Oaks <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2020/10/17oaks?lang=eng">https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2020/10/17oaks?lang=eng</a>.
Which has been rattling around in my mind for several weeks.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It is a great reminder during this very unsure time here in
the United States as an election is looming. And I use the word looming,
because many are feeling a sense of foreboding and dread, some are feeling a
sense of optimism, and some seem to not care but are waiting for a fight. A
fight to defend who was elected. A fight against who wasn’t elected. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’ve heard people comment about this talk and say, “I hope
they were listening.” Referring to “they” meaning those who don’t agree with
them politically, or the “they” who may start fighting, rioting and looting, or
the “they” who the person considers to be wrong.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In pondering all of this, I can’t help but think of the time
as Jesus was preparing to leave His mortal life, His friends, His family, to
atone for all of our sins. As He was sitting with His friends providing them a
reminder of Him through the teaching and giving of the bread and wine, He said,
“Verily I say unto you, One of you which eateth with me shall betray me.” And
they began to be sorrowful, and to say unto him one by one, Is it I? and
another said, Is it I?” Mark 14:18-19.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I have friends on both sides of the political spectrum who
have, I believe, sincerely prayed about who to vote for and received, what I
believe, very different answers. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if
this is because the answer isn’t based on the outcome of an election? God knows
the outcome of the election already. He knows what is going to happen. His plan
is sure and in place. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What if we need to be asking the question His disciples did
at the last supper?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">“Is it me?” <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Will I betray the God I love and try to serve by being mean,
hateful and vicious to those I disagree with? Will I call others uninformed,
unenlightened, uneducated, stupid or idiots because they didn’t agree with my
political views? Will I carry a grudge in my heart? Will I be constantly angry?
Will I be unforgiving? Will I be pointing the finger of blame of our country’s
ills at a differing political party? Will I forget the commandment to “love
others as I have loved you”?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I don’t think the outcome of this election is the biggest
problem in our country, I think the way we handle it may be. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In just one week’s time I heard of theft, vandalism and
intimidation happening to friends, coming from both political parties. Do we
really think one side is the ‘bad guy’ or can we try to see that any of us
could become the “Judas” of the situation?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Maybe the biggest question we can be asking ourselves right
now is not, “Who will I vote for? Or “Who did my neighbor vote for?” But “How
will I love and treat those who vastly disagree with me?” <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Will I still strive to see others the way Jesus would and
treat them the way Jesus would? <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Am I suggesting that there isn’t right and wrong? Absolutely
not! And I believe we need to voice that. I am suggesting that maybe we need to
listen a whole lot more. And dig a whole lot more to get to an understanding.
There may be things that we and our “political opponents” disagree on, but that
doesn’t mean we need to become enemies. I have a friend who is constantly
posting his political views. I have been amazed to listen to the banter of his
friends who totally disagree with him and at times it gets heated. And yet, the
friendship and admiration of each other has not diminished. Why? Maybe because
the idea of intelligent debate is a notable and attractive quality. Maybe
because even if they agree to disagree, they still care enough about one
another to recognize that the relationship is more important than the debate.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We may or may not like the outcome of the election. We need
to be considering how our actions afterward reflect on the beliefs we have.
Will we betray the God we love, like Judas? Will we maybe stumble a bit like
Peter, and discover we don’t want to betray Him? <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Can we trust God that He will get us through the outcome of
this, just like He does with everything else? If we can trust Him, then let us
not betray Him.<o:p></o:p></p>Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-78975864573142303562020-03-14T17:57:00.001-07:002020-03-14T17:57:32.306-07:00Coronavirus PrayerAs schools are now being shut down to try to lessen the spread of the coronavirus, parents are worried. As other schools are choosing not to close, teachers and parents are worried. Because of these worries, my prayers have changed.<br />
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Right now, I pray for the kids. The kids ages 5+ who are
left home alone because their parent(s) don’t have the resources for daycare.
The kids who may not have heat left on at home because mom can’t afford it and
food too. The kids who won’t get the meals the school usually provides during
those times. The kids who won’t get interaction from anyone other than the t.v.
or computer, or possibly anyone at all depending on the financial circumstances
of their family. I pray for the kids who are older and will suddenly have hours
of unsupervised time and find temptations galore. I pray for the kids who are
home alone, that they will choose to be helpful and get things done and take
some of the burden off their parents. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
My prayers are for the parents who are now stressing about leaving
their kids home by themselves because their job is crucial. I pray for the
parents who have to stay home with sick kids and are stressed about the money
they will miss from not being able to work. For the parents who work really
long hours or two jobs to provide and don’t get home till late, I pray they
will remember to bring food home for their kids and that they will still have
enough energy to give a little love and comfort. I pray for the parents of kids
who are left at daycare, because there is no choice, that they will be taken
care of and that they won’t get sick.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I pray for the families who have members that are already
immuno-compromised and this is making them worry more.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I pray for the teachers whose schools are still going, that they
will stay strong and healthy and continue to provide a healthy mind set for
their students. I pray they will be extra aware of anyone who may be sick and
need to go home. I pray that their worries may be lightened.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I pray that we will all be a bit kinder and more thoughtful
to each other. I pray that if we see someone filling a car with toilet paper,
maybe we will consider that they are buying it for their whole neighborhood. I
pray that those who are hoarding it, will have their hearts softened and help
care for those who have none. I pray that we will make a visit to the house of
an elderly person we haven’t seen for a few days, to check on them and their
needs. In cold areas, I pray that we will see if the elderly, the sick,
those with babies, have adequate heat. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I pray that we will rise above our selfish tendencies and
look out for each other. I pray that we will see, afresh, how much we need each
other. I pray that each day I will be aware of who needs my help. Maybe my
house-bound neighbor needs a fresh batch of library books, the elderly guy
across the street needs some cans of soup or another box of Kleenex. Maybe the
puzzles spilling from my closet can be shared with the kids down the street who
are stir crazy. Maybe the friend I haven’t talked to in a long time just needs
to hear from another adult before she goes nuts. There are so many ways we can
reach out and take care of each other. While we are kicking this virus to the
street, let’s do the same with our selfishness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I pray that we will find humor in this, that we will remember to laugh. It is awesome medicine and unlike a virus, it is best when we share it with others.</div>
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Finally, I pray that we will be able to see the goodness in others as they answer the prayers only God can hear.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
#Coronavirus #Prayer #HelpEachOther</div>
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<br />Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-72669042112225214212019-11-12T21:50:00.001-08:002019-11-12T21:52:53.337-08:0040 Day Sugar FastLast January, I participated in Wendy Speake's 40 day sugar fast. It was life changing!<br />
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Because of that I want to share a few thoughts as well as Wendy's new book.</div>
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There are a lot of things that I am willing to give up for a short period of time, but sugar is a tough one for me. Doing so made me very aware of some bad habits I was in. Turning to chocolate when I was tired, lonely, bored, or just craving. But that never made me feel better for long. Often I just had to have more. Sometimes I regretted it quickly because I knew better. During this fast, I came to realize it had become a false god for me. </div>
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What I really wanted was to be filled with Jesus, the love of my Heavenly Father, and the power of the Holy Ghost. </div>
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I learned how weak I am, and ultimately how strong He is. And also how faithful He is. He did not leave me in something as seemingly simple or unimportant as a sugar fast. </div>
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I went through the pride cycle. I was not happy at the beginning. Then I tried to replace sugar with other things (in marched chips and salsa). Then I got past the cravings and got a little prideful that I was doing just fine. Then I was humbled to realize that it was only because I had Heavenly help. </div>
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Wanting to get closer to Him cleaned up my habits, my thinking, my desires. </div>
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If you are wanting to experience some interesting transformation both physically and spiritually, I highly recommend doing the 40 day sugar fast!<br />
#WendySpeake #40daysugarfast #Spiritualtransformation #Lifechanging<br />
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Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-2519734061909986972019-10-22T21:23:00.002-07:002019-10-22T21:23:52.547-07:00Feasting TimeWhen one of our boys was really little, he had some eating issues. Well, ok, the reality was he just hardly ate anything. I vividly remember getting him ready for a bath one night and looking at his little body, now about 18 months old. His tummy was big and distended looking atop the scrawniest little legs and I suddenly had visions of the babies in third world countries and fear entered my heart.<br />
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He had no medical issues at that time that would create this. It wasn't until years later that we discovered he had serious texture issues relating to food and lots of other things he couldn't express until he was older. I had a friend whose mother-in-law was a dietician and spoke to her about my concerns. She gave us some much needed advice and said something that has stayed with me. "He knows how it feels to be empty, but he doesn't know how it feels to be full."<br />
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Wow! In a world where abundance of food is readily available and snacks are everywhere, it can be hard to imagine in our first world coziness to comprehend not feeling full.<br />
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And yet, do we experience this spiritually?<br />
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When was the last time you felt spiritually full?<br />
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Was it one day? A moment? An extended period of your life? If so, what led to that?<br />
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Was it from reading a passage in scripture that spoke to your spirit so deeply, you felt completely loved?<br />
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Was it through the voice of the Spirit whispering just what you needed to hear?<br />
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Was it the power of a blessing?<br />
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Was it a prayer answered in a way only you could appreciate?<br />
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If we are not ever feeling "full" spiritually, we need to!<br />
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What prevents that full feeling?<br />
Is it that we lack the spiritual food we need?<br />
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Recently I had a day I felt full to overflowing! I could not stop myself from praying in pure gratitude for God's blessings to me, for His strength in my weakness, for the family and friends to be with me in this journey. And now weeks later, I'm trying to remember what led to that. I remember waking and praying and spending time in scripture. I went about all of my daily craziness, carpool, volunteering in the classroom, the store, and in between all of those things I listened to uplifting music. And somehow my spirit just could not be contained. I was literally spilling words of gratitude out.<br />
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I think it was that I was feasting. I had been going to Him regularly in prayer and spending time feasting on the word. I was filling up my spirit with good music. I was giving my spirit exactly what it needed and doing it abundantly, and then I was full.<br />
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I'm not sure this will happen every day, but that full feeling makes me want more. Of all the cravings I've ever had, this by far is the best one.<br />
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Psalms 107:9 "For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness."<br />
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Just like filling our bellies takes some work and some time, so does filling our souls. But it is the most satisfying fufillment we will ever have!<br />
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If you need me to pray for you in being filled up, respond to this blog and I will get right on it! If you know someone who is empty, pray for them to be filled, get specific! God loves to answer our prayers for each other!<br />
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<br />Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-4938006819095779622019-04-29T22:29:00.000-07:002019-04-29T22:29:17.811-07:00What Do You Do?What do you do when the answer to your many prayers is, "No."<br />
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How do you accept that you will not be healed, your family will continue to struggle, the job you want will not be forthcoming, the child you love will continue to make bad choices, the person who has hurt you will never apologize, the help you are seeking will not be provided, that your lot is to endure?<br />
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How do you endure when your heart is absolutely broken, your faith is stretched to the breaking point, you can barely convince yourself to keep breathing because even that feels like more than you can do?<br />
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I remember hard things coming my way in college, and making it. Somehow those things seem so miniscule now. Which means that someday what I am enduring now will seem so small.<br />
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But if I survived back then, I can survive now. So looking back, how did I do it?<br />
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I kept doing the things I knew were good and right, even when it seemed like I was simply going through the motions. I went to church, read my scriptures, served others- even when and especially when- I was dying inside.<br />
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I didn't give up on the notion that this was all in God's hands. There were many times I wondered if my prayers were reaching past the ceiling, but I would not stop calling on Him, hoping He was listening, waiting for His answers.<br />
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What do I do now? These very same things. Only this time more often than not, when I'm reading my scriptures I'm searching for those words that bring me peace, scrolling through for wisdom lurking in the spaces I have glossed over. Looking for wisdom in the white spaces. Waiting for breathings from the Spirit in the quiet loneliness.<br />
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I serve others a little more aware that their struggles are as real and painful as mine, so the service is little more sincere and a lot more from a place of compassion.<br />
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I refuse to believe this isn't all in His hands, but that doesn't mean I have gotten wise enough to let Him carry it. Unfortunately, I still have a lot of work in that area. I still struggle even knowing how to turn it all over to Him. I hear people say it, I hear it in songs, I just haven't figured out how exactly to do it right now. Instead I tend to say, "I give up, I don't care anymore." Which is far from true.<br />
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I dig a bit deeper in holding onto trust that the Creator of this life knows what He is doing even when I don't and that all things will work together for my good. Trust that He is my adoring Father and wants to give me great things, in His own time. Trust that He will not let me go, even when I am wondering where He is.<br />
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I find myself spending more time trying to discover who He is and what He wants because that calls my attention away from myself. I'm finding that the more I try to discover Him, the less I worry about my own circumstances. <br />
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<br />Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-21120897002320715912019-04-24T16:45:00.000-07:002020-04-09T08:48:46.271-07:00The Hunt <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the shadow of my mind’s eye, I vaguely see the trunks of
gigantic trees dotting the soft green grass. Glints of bright color light up
the grass in hundreds of places.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
chatter is all around me as hundreds of little kids stand there with baskets.
I’m standing with my parents and grandparents not really understanding what is
going on. A loud voice from somewhere announces that the little kids will go
first when the sound is made, followed by another sound for the next group and
so on. Then the seeking began. Holding our baskets we all toddled forward to
the closest bit of color and picked it up. The eggs were pretty colors and
attractive, but often disappeared under the hands of someone bigger or faster.
As a very young child the wonder of having one of those brightly colored eggs
was wonderful.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As an adult I have since watched other large volume Easter
Egg hunts and have observed several things that seem especially poignant today.
Have you seen the very small toddlers find one egg and being so enamored with
the one, that they could care less about the treat inside?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then there are those collecting as many as
possible, but not really realizing anything is inside. There are the kids who
know there is candy inside and are scooping up every egg they can find, even
willing to take ones in front of someone else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There are the older kids who realize they need to leave the obvious ones
on the ground for the little kids and start seeking a bit. Many of the oldest
head straight for the trees or high spots or start looking in the unusual
places because they want the challenge.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As I was watching my kids hunt for eggs, and other kids
hunting I thought about the kind of parent our Heavenly Father is. He very much
wants us to find Him. At first, there are signs everywhere. If we are looking
at all we can see His majesty in everything. Little kids tend to do this. They
take the time to examine a flower up close or lay on the ground and watch the
sky. Like the egg hunt, they likely don’t realize the treasure they found or
where it came from, they are just enjoying this beautiful thing. In time, we
learn to appreciate His gifts a bit more as we realize the “sweetness” in them.
We learn that a flower may be more than beautiful, it may be able to scent a
whole room. Or perhaps it can take a person to a special event in their memory.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We begin to look a little more for His gifts after a while.
They may be a bit less appreciated as we have gotten accustomed to seeing them
daily. But every now and then we catch a glimpse and realize He is there and
still giving us good gifts.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eventually we may have “matured” a bit and we can’t find the
eggs so easily. They are there. They are still freely offered, but they are
more elusive. We have to put more effort into finding them. Our amazing Father
has never taken those sweet treats away, but He is expecting us to do a bit
more work. Deuteronomy 4:29 states “But if from thence thou shalt <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">seek</i></b>
the Lord thy God, thou shalt find him<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">, if thou seek him with all thy heart and
with all thy soul</i></b>.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Our Father wants to be found. He wants to make Himself known
to us. He glories in daily blessing us with His little treasures. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">And </i>He knows that the seeking is part of
the adventure, part of the fun, part of what makes the finding of His treasures
exciting!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just like looking for eggs as
a kid, He gives us incremental steps for the finding. Easy and very visable at
first, but in time knowing we need more of a challenge. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his face continually.”
1 Chronicles 16:11. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How do we seek for the Lord?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How do we seek for a child? We think of their interests and
where they like to be and look there. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Where does the Lord like to be? I find His handprint in His
creations. When I take a close look at a sunset, a flower, a bird, a lizard or
a mountain, I get to know Him better. I get to see Him as a diverse creator
with an amazing imagination (seriously, think of a seahorse), I see him as a
master artist (recall a beautiful sunset), an incredible scientist (think of
the design of a bird’s wing).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Where is He? I see evidence of Him all around me. I see Him
in people taking care of someone else, a mother drying a child’s tears, a
father working endless hours to provide for his family, a son taking care of a
sick parent, a child being kind to the new kid.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How can I get to know Him better? My answer to this is the
scriptures. If you want to get to know a person, their autobiography is
probably a good place to go. When I read the Old Testament, I see a God who
would not give up on His people, even though they gave Him every reason to do
so. The more I read, the better I understand what He wants to give His
children, and how very much His children do not understand. When I read the New
Testament, I see the evidence of an incomprehensible love. The giving of a
beloved Son as the means for meeting the demands of justice and the
unbelievable obedience of the most loving Son. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If we are struggling to see our Father and get to know Him,
it may be time to look around at the little eggs of love He has left lying
around. See them with fresh eyes, take the time to examine more closely what He
has put right in front of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It may
also be time to look around a little more at how He is blessing not only us but
others through the gift of each person He put in our lives. We should also
daily, be checking out His works in the scriptures. He has revealed Himself in
them and we can get to know Him better if we are reading them regularly. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He wants us to get to know Him, He has put evidences all
around us. But He won’t do the hunting for us! We have to do some of the work!
And that work will be so worth the reward of the sweetest relationship we will
ever know!</span></div>
Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-3815118650657514052019-03-24T22:54:00.000-07:002019-03-24T22:54:03.329-07:00Scripture RelationsWho do you relate to in the scriptures?<br />
<br />
Are you a Job figure? Has the Lord allowed nearly everything to be taken from you? Your wealth, your family, friends, home? Your health? Are you wondering if there is anything left to take?<br />
<br />
Are you a Peter? A follower with faith that some moments is way up there, you can say with certainty who Christ is, and then moments later be faltering and not wanting to drown in the waves.<br />
<br />
Are you a Martha? Wanting to have the Savior with you, but finding that in trying to ready everything you fail to see Him right there wanting you to sit with Him and listen?<br />
<br />
Are you a Sarah? Believing that the Lord is there, but laughing when it is suggested that He will work a miracle in you? <br />
<br />
Are you a Paul? Someone who has scoffed at the notion of a Savior, ridiculed those who believe?<br />
<br />
Are you the woman at the well? Ashamed of the circumstances you are living in because they go against what you know to be true?<br />
<br />
Are you the woman suffering for years with a health issue that has exhausted your resources, and your spirit?<br />
<br />
Are you the man with the child who is full of a bad spirit that is tearing up your child?<br />
<br />
The scriptures are full of people. People who have experienced all of these things. Things that can draw us away from Him. Things that turn our heads and hearts.<br />
<br />
But there is a common theme with all of them, in the wide variety of circumstances they were in.<br />
<br />
Could they choose to believe?<br />
<br />
Could they choose to change?<br />
<br />
Could they choose to have faith?<br />
<br />
Could they choose to listen?<br />
<br />
Job had everything taken from him: family, friends, home, wealth, health. But he would not choose to walk away from God.<br />
Peter, in the darkest hour, in a raging storm, would call out and reach toward the Savior.<br />
Martha would accept rebuke and listen.<br />
Sarah would laugh and then accept the miracle she had waited many years for.<br />
Paul would allow his heart to be changed and embrace new belief, new hope and a life of teaching.<br />
The woman at the well would admit her circumstances to the Lord and beg for the living water that she so desperately wanted.<br />
The woman with the issue of blood would, even in her exhaustion and weakened state, reach out her hand to touch the garment of the Lord.<br />
The man would recognize his lack of enough faith, to ask for the faith he needed to believe that the Savior could cast out the devil and heal his broken child.<br />
I love these people!<br />
<br />
Their stories speak to my heart.<br />
<br />
I feel their brokenness, I feel their speck of faith.<br />
<br />
I compare myself to them at different times, in different situations.<br />
<br />
The gift of these stories is precious to me, because I know I'm not alone in the times I'm struggling to believe, and in the times that my heart wants to sing out from the roof top!<br />
<br />
I hope, if you are struggling in your faith, that you will find someone in the scriptures to relate to. That you will stand with them in your struggle and hold on, hold out, and wait upon the Lord.<br />
<br />
I hope that if you are bursting at the seams in your faith, that you will boldly announce, "This is Christ, the Son of the Living God." And be not ashamed. That you will point out and call out the miracles you see and the truths that are all around us.<br />
<br />
I hope that the scriptures will help you in wherever your walk in faith may be now and in the days you live out. They help me, they guide me, they give me strength.<br />
<br />
God lives! He sent His Son, Jesus Christ to you and to me. Be not afraid. Only believe. Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-91450437958494861732019-02-04T21:41:00.000-08:002019-02-04T21:41:23.745-08:00Fasting and PreparingHi, my name is Cheryl. I am a sugarholic. More specifically a chocoholic.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I love chocolate! No really, it's bad. I love hot chocolate, chocolate cake, certain chocolate bars. Yeah, I've gotten to be kind of a snob about it. There is certain chocolate I won't even eat, because it just doesn't taste good enough. I may not be a chocolate sommelier, but I can keep training.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Which brings me to the realization that I have a problem. Yep, an addiction.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So a few months ago, it became pretty clear to me I needed to do something about it. But the holidays were coming and really??? Besides we only get about 2 weeks of the year when it is actually cold enough here to drink hot chocolate and I love it! </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
After realizing I needed to take action, but not really having the motivation, I kept the thought rattling around in my brain. Then I saw that a woman named Wendy Speake who is in my Christian Writer's group was having a 40 day sugar fast. So I signed up. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1769909659899118/<br />
<br />
It was starting in January, and that worked out for me. Best of all, the idea was not just to eliminate sugar, but it was also to fill up with Christ. Now that I could get on board with!<br />
<br />
I don't think I've ever done a real 40 day fast. Not even back in my Catholic school days during Lent. Yes, we all joked about giving up candy for 40 days, but back then it was a whole lot easier. We only got candy at school on Valentine's day, right before Christmas, and Easter. Plus, I was never truly focused on the purpose of giving up something in preparation of Easter.<br />
<br />
I have truly welcomed this learning opportunity. I have been fed spiritually, been hungry physically, been proud, been humbled, felt empty, felt full, felt the Spirit, felt spiritually empty. And, the 40 days isn't up yet!<br />
<br />
I know that before Jesus started His ministry, He fasted for 40 days. That speaks volumes! The purpose of fasting is to get closer to God and be spiritually prepared for the ministry or mission He has for us.<br />
<br />
Let me share some of what I've experienced.<br />
<br />
The first 10 days were rough! I found myself trying to fill up on any food that didn't have sugar in it! Really! That led to my first humbling realization. I was still trying to fill up fear, loneliness, exhaustion, etc. with food. I came to realize that was what all that sugar chasing was for. I knew I needed and wanted more than that! Each day of her fast we have focused on a particular set of scriptures, mostly in the book of Matthew and podcasts that have been uplifting. I started spending more time in scripture, more time in prayer (mostly for help to not succumb to the temptation) and more time evaluating myself and my intentions. For example, I decided to also fast from getting on the scale. I did not want this to turn into a numbers driven fast.<br />
<br />
Then I started noticing that the cravings were pretty much at bay and that I was filling up on better food. Which was super exciting because I really did want the good stuff. But also, I was finding not just wanting better food, I wanted to be filling up mentally and spiritually with better things. I wanted what would stick with me during the day and what would stick with me when I was wavering in my mind and in my spirit.<br />
<br />
About this time, I noticed that my mind was getting much clearer. I was thinking better, I wasn't nearly as tired all the time. I also noticed a bit more when the Spirit was prompting me to say or do something. That said, I'm finding I need to focus on that more. Because even still I'm finding how often I ignore those promptings.<br />
<br />
So then came the pride. Yup, it blasted me. "Hey, I'm totally doing this, no sugar for 3 weeks, I've got this! Plus, I think maybe a few pounds came off because my pants were fitting better. Nothing like that to make a woman proud, right? Ugh!! Again, a painful reminder of my humanness and how much I need to overcome! I also noticed that I was starting to snack, yes healthy snacks, sugar free but still snacking, which I wanted to also get rid of! Time to fill up on humble pie again!<br />
<br />
Now, with less than 2 weeks left, I'm noticing that 40 days is much longer than I realized, and yet not long enough. The snacking habit and the cravings are coming back, reminding me of where I was and where I don't want to go again. Reminding me that as I've gotten more energy back and am doing more, I'm doing less for my spirit. Reminding me that I need help. Just like my eating life, in my real life I need the power of my Savior. I cannot do this without Him. The song, "I Need Thee Every Hour" has come to mind. Oh how I need Him.<br />
<br />
This fast has been so good for me! I'm looking forward already to Lent, because this year unlike any other, I will have a better appreciation for the season leading up to Easter. It for sure has helped me appreciate my Savior and what He did to prepare for His ministry. I know full well I couldn't go 40 days without food and water, but He didn't ask me to. I just need to follow Him the best I can.<br />
<br />
Thank you Wendy Speake, Asheritah Ciuciu, Elisa Pulliam, Kasia Gilbert, Sarah Washington Bragg, Sarah Leach, Katie Reid, Becky Keife, Jane Manka, for teaching me, and to the many women in the group who have been so supportive! It has been a wonderful journey, I'm so glad it's not over yet! <br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-7349861839501720012018-11-17T09:16:00.004-08:002018-11-17T09:16:50.022-08:00The Imposter<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
A few months ago I went to a writing conference. My first ever. I
was surrounded by well published authors, amazing teachers, editors, mentors
and friends. It was a fantastic experience!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then I came home and tried to write. That thing that I do.
That part in me that feels real and even more, who I want to be. But I suddenly
had this tremendously uncomfortable feeling that I was an imposter. I was
filled with self-doubt. “Who do you think you are? A REAL writer, yeah right,
you barely pulled a C in a college writing class. Your blog is limping along.
You self-published for crying out loud!!” All these thoughts consumed me,
crippled me in all honesty. I kept sitting at my computer trying to write and
the word, “IMPOSTER!!!!” kept screaming in my head. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I addressed it with my writing community and was so sweetly
reminded that I am a writer. Even if it is only stringing a few thoughts
together and getting them on paper, that qualifies me, loving it confirms me,
wanting to get better at it fills me. Those feelings may wax and wane and that
is okay. This is a process. A LONG process.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I made the comparison this week to another deep part of me.
I am a Christian. I believe in Christ. And in my believing I often feel like an
imposter. I feel at times as though I’m not good enough to consider myself a
“believer." Because a believer wouldn’t mess up as frequently as I do, wouldn’t
ever doubt, wouldn’t ever wonder if God had forgotten about her, wouldn’t question
why these super hard things were happening in her life. A believer would never
yell at her kids, or make an unkind comment, judge a stranger, or get mad about
the state the world is in. A true believer would be above all that. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wrong!!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am a true believer even in my small imperfect ways. I
believe in Christ and I believe Christ. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I believe that He makes up for all I lack. I believe that He
has faith in me to change, in time. I believe that He can see the whole picture
of where I was at and where I am going and that I am trying each day to do
better. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Foremost, I believe that He already paid the price for every
mistake I make. He has that much love and faith in who I am. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like my sweet writing group helping me to remember who I am
and who I want to be, my Savior already truly knows who I am. He knows I am a
believer. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He also knows that I need the process of studying things out
and finding out for myself so He allows my doubts. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He knows I want to become more like Him and He allows me to
stumble on the path and sometimes wander off, because He is there and can
always find me, and always has band-aids. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He knows that it is a process to change and He has already
paid for all the mistakes I have made and will make.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He knows that as a believer, I will offer to pray for and
with you when I don’t know what else to do. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He knows that I will testify of Him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He knows that I will find joy in the scriptures and try to
share that with anyone who might listen and sometimes those who won’t.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He knows that I will keep trying and that I will keep coming
to Him because I frequently find myself looking for answers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He knows that I often say, “I give up! I don’t know what to
do!” But keep on trying because I won’t give up. I may keep doing the same dumb
thing, but I won’t stop trying.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He knows all of these things and He is okay with this
fledgling believer who wants to be more.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He won’t give up on me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I testify that He won’t and hasn’t given up on you! No
matter what your circumstances are, no matter how lost you may feel, no matter
what you have done, He is there.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are not an imposter! He loves you because He knows you!
You cannot fake Him out. It is impossible. He knows you!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Only someone who believes in each of us would hurt for us,
pay our debt and then die for us. He has done this.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So if you ever have a day or an hour that you feel like an
imposter, stop! Remind yourself that you are not to Him. God made you and loves
you and knows you. He will always be waiting for you to call out to Him. He
will be there with band-aids and healing cream. He will tell you the way back
home and He will walk it with you. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To Him, you are not an imposter. You are a believer! </div>
Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-59195454250403570472018-09-04T11:49:00.000-07:002018-09-04T11:49:56.341-07:00Muffin MagicI love to bake! To me, there is something so satisfying in the perfectly chewy, gooey chocolate chip cookie, or the chocolate cake with a moist dense crumb, and light and luscious lemon cake. Part of it is in the actual making of it and having it come out to perfection, and the other part is in the enjoyment of the final product. Especially when shared with others and the nice comments when they too enjoy or appreciate it.<br />
<br />
This weekend, I tried a new and totally different (for me) recipe for blueberry muffins. It had ingredients I don't usually use in my muffins and I knew it would be an experiment. When I pulled them out of the oven they were more brown than I usually bake and looking a trifle too brown I was a little concerned I had overdone it.<br />
<br />
After about 3 minutes on the cooling rack I knew it was the opposite. They were underdone! The middles caved in and they were inedible.<br />
<br />
A few days later, here I am writing this for me and sharing with you.<br />
<br />
These muffins are often like us.<br />
<br />
If we want a light tasty muffin, we not only have to have the right ingredients, but we have to bake it long enough. We have to expose it to the heat until it is cooked through and the chemical magic happens.<br />
<br />
Dealing with a really hard struggle with one of my boys, I have found myself at my wits end and asking the Lord, "Isn't this enough? Aren't we done with this yet? Can you wrap this up already?"<br />
<br />
Only to find the answer is, not yet.<br />
<br />
He knows when all of the processes are complete. When we have been fully baked and then He can pull us out of the oven for the enjoyment.<br />
<br />
I feel like the Cookie Monster of Sesame Street days. Constantly looking in the oven demanding, "Cookies done yet?" only to find they aren't and I have to keep doing all my usual stuff and then coming again, "Cookies done yet", and shaking my head, walking away, "Cookies not done yet."<br />
<br />
But I also am excited to see the finished product, to taste the perfection I know will come in the next life when I am done. When He has finished His work on me, on my heart, on my weaknesses. When he has taken the perfectly chosen ingredients and baked them to perfection.<br />
<br />
Don't give up on yourself or another! I find myself getting discouraged when I think about where we are at and the long road ahead, but I keep having to remind myself that even a great cake takes time. If I want perfection in a cake it requires<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> great ingredients</span></i>, <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">proper mixing</span>, and <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">just the right amount of baking</span>.<br />
<br />
We were made of great ingredients! We can't lose sight of that! And each of us has different ones. We will each be a different and unique and delicious creation. We have the ingredients in us. Now we need to let the Master Baker expose us to the heat until we become what He is creating us to be.<br />
<br />
Don't give up, you don't want to have a soggy unbaked middle!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-30336521211232921032018-08-21T22:02:00.001-07:002018-08-21T22:02:23.659-07:00Back to School DreadAhhh, Back to School!<br />
<br />
The smell of new crayons, fresh notebooks, the look of pencils yet to be chewed on, and backpacks that look nice and neat.<br />
<br />
Then there are the pictures with smiling kids and fingers held up or chalkboards or shirts telling what grade they are going into. New shirts or whole outfits. Hair that is actually combed and sprayed.<br />
<br />
For some, it is a day of excitement about new teachers, new friends, new schools. The possibilities of fresh starts is exciting.<br />
<br />
For others it is a day of hope.<br />
<br />
You hope the excitement makes it through the day, that your child comes home full of hope.<br />
<br />
Hope that maybe this year they will succeed. That this year will be different.<br />
<br />
Hope that this year they will have a friend, that friend. The one that makes it so they will not mind getting up and going. The one that doesn't mind that they are easily excited when nervous. The friend who maybe also doesn't like sports, but will play in the dirt the whole recess.<br />
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You hope they get that teacher who gets it. Who understands that they may or may not get it. That they may get it way after everyone else does. The teacher that is willing to hang in there with them and not be annoyed or even hate them because they are annoying by default. Hope that your teacher will not be so overwhelmed by requirements, testing, meetings, many students with specific needs, that she/he lets go of the excitement and enthusiasm of the profession they chose.<br />
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Hope that they might actually get past their fear of eating in the cafeteria so they don't come home starving.<br />
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Hope that the homework the teachers think will only take 30 minutes, not three hours!<br />
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Hope that you will be able to make it through one whole week without having a panic attack.<br />
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If you are that Mama, you are not alone. Although, having a kid with disabilities, differences, challenges, or new circumstances can feel so very lonely.<br />
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When I taught school, I remember having students whose parents came to me at their wits end. They didn't know how to help their kids. As their teacher, I often had to let them know that they didn't need to worry about whether or not their kid finished the homework. Sometimes, I had to intervene and encourage different friendships. Often I had to let parents know their kid didn't get it yet, but that they most likely would in time. Just not the same time as everyone else.<br />
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I am having to tell myself these things over and over now, as a parent.<br />
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It is frustrating, overwhelming, often filled with tears.<br />
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There are two things I have to keep telling myself.<br />
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First, your child's success, or lack of, in school is not a reflection on you!<br />
What???!!!<br />
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That can't be! The best parents have the straight A kids who play at least one instrument, are in several clubs, are the heads of after school activities, etc...<br />
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Yes, there are kids who thrive on all of that. But not everyone does, and that is a good thing. There would be no one to lead if we were all leaders. There would be no one in the audience if all the kids were on the stage playing the instruments.<br />
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Second, it also does not reflect on them! So maybe they don't get things when everyone else does. We all learn differently and in different time frames. A learning challenge is just that: a challenge. Oh, but in our society it is so hard to remember! Let's remind each other!<br />
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Last year, after dropping my kids off at school, I remember looking at sweet pictures of kiddos with combed hair and smiles and feeling my breath sucked away as the fear of failure, meanness, anxiety, being misunderstood, and several other feelings my own kids have expressed or experienced, swooped in and grasped at my lungs. It was so real, I cried and I prayed.<br />
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As we are getting our excited or not so excited kids ready to start school, lets fill ourselves and our kids with grace. Let's remember that there are those who excel in "the system" and those who for whatever reason don't. Let's help our kids be kind to them. Let's be praying for the success of our kids and those who struggle. Let's also be praying for the parents of those who struggle. It is so hard to watch. If we have the ability to help, let's reach out and do it! Let's especially help our kids to see that we need each other. <br />
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You are not alone! Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-67873951645928232972018-05-31T23:30:00.002-07:002018-05-31T23:30:28.950-07:00The Work of Peter's Miracle<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Ok my friends. I've talked about this for years and it finally officially hit Amazon today and should be on Barnes and Noble, Ingram, Books a Million, etc. soon!<br />
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I truly hope I am not driving anyone crazy with it, because that is the last thing I want.<br />
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What I would like, is to tell you a bit more. The kind of backstory that I would share with you in my kitchen or sitting on my couch, so snuggle up dear friend, I have a story to tell you.<br />
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When my oldest was about 7, he had been having struggles in school, particularly with "friends" and being the very little guy, was just very down. I had been noticing this going on and wanted to help him, but didn't really have any ideas. After one really rough day, he came home so discouraged. That night, as is our tradition, I laid down next to his bed to tell him a story while he fell asleep. But this time I wanted the encouragement to come from the scriptures. So as I lay there I thought of the story in Matthew 17 where the tax collectors ask Peter about Jesus paying taxes and the Savior sends him fishing. I told him about this very unremarkable, very ordinary fish, very much like every other fish in the sea. Then I told him how this fish was part of an amazing miracle. There was a coin to pay the taxes for both of them.<br />
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He seemed to really like the story, so after he fell asleep I went down to work on writing it down the way I had told it to him.<br />
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Part of the story came. But then it stopped. <br />
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Then I researched fish to figure out how it could've gotten there, because that could truly happen, I mean really the miracle was that Jesus knew it would be there.<br />
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So for years, and I mean years, I would go back to this story and try to write it. And I could never get it to come out right! <br />
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Meanwhile we had a few other kids, the night time stories continued, but this one kept coming back to me.<br />
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We moved, far away. I had more kids, but I also didn't have friends or many expectations, so I went back to work on this story that was driving me nuts!<br />
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I began praying about it. I knew there was a good message there. Why couldn't I get it to come out?<br />
While in prayer one day, asking God about the story, I got a very clear impression.<br />
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"This story isn't about the fish. Cheryl, this story is about Peter and what he needed to know."<br />
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That's when the story came. It didn't take long to get it out. It did take months to get it better. And it took friends who were willing to read it and give input.<br />
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Then came the attempts for publishing. I sent it off several times and got really nice rejection letters and finally put it on the back burner. The market for Christian Children's books is pretty small.<br />
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I told the Lord, that if he would help me get it out, I would try to do good with it. <br />
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Because the realization also came that this wasn't my story. I wish it was, but it's not.<br />
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One night, I saw a commercial for Christian Faith Publishing and went with them. It is considered "self publishing" and as such I put money up to make it happen. But in so doing, I also got to choose my illustrator and we worked very closely to get what I envisioned the book to be, and frankly, I think she nailed it! Thanks Bethaney!<br />
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So after I make back what I have invested in publishing it, my portion of the royalties will go to Feed My Starving Children. It is a charity that I love. Should that one ever go away, I will choose another charity that seems appropriate.<br />
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So if you like the book and feel like you know someone who would benefit, please share. And please also know that you will be helping others!<br />
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At least, that is my fervent prayer!<br />
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Right now, it is available in hardback but will be available in soft cover and digitally soon.<br />
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If you get it and like it, please comment on Amazon, or wherever. It does bring it up more often so others will see it. <br />
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https://www.amazon.com/Peters-Miracle-Cheryl-Creamer-Merrill/dp/1640797149/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1527833628&sr=8-1&keywords=peter%27s+miracle+by+cheryl+merrill<br />
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<br />Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-44350423509670796132018-05-10T13:37:00.000-07:002018-05-10T13:37:04.676-07:00The oh So Ugly DucklingThe past few months I have been struggling with myself. I keep finding myself in situations with people and I truly don't know what to do or how to handle them. The kind of situations where it is so unanticipated that you find yourself pulling your jaw up off the ground.<br />
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I have found myself completely stunned.<br />
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I have found myself incensed.<br />
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I have found myself having to get super uncomfortable and stand up and say things that are right but are making me shake in my boots.<br />
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I have also found myself questioning me. Examining my motives. Examining how I am choosing to handle things. Examining my patience.<br />
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Frankly, it is all uncomfortable.<br />
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This morning as I woke up, again struggling with things, I realized that I may not be doing all this self examination if it wasn't for being so uncomfortable.<br />
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I'll admit. I like to be comfy. I like comfy clothes and comfy chairs. I like comfy friends and cozy surroundings. But as much as I like all that and need those things (especially the comfy friends) those don't make me grow as much and as quickly as wiggling in my own skin and tossing in my mind does.<br />
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This morning I came to realize that all this wrestling with myself is for my own good. God in His infinite wisdom is going to help reveal something better in me. I just have to be willing to go through some yucky and somewhat painful scrubbing with a wire brush!<br />
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I sure like the beautiful swan idea. Have you ever seen a beautiful stark white swan? They are absolutely gorgeous with their contrasting black bill. But they aren't just pretty to look at! They are strong, powerful birds. They can handle long migration. They are loyal and dependable.<br />
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So please bear with me as I'm in my ugly duckling phase! I hope it won't last long, but while it does, I'm going to keep examining and questioning and learning.<br />
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Come to think of it, it might be good to consider that for others. They may be going through an ugly phase too. Let's get through the ugly together, by being as kind as possible, learning how to stand up kindly, express joyfully and live fully, that we may become the beautiful creatures God made us to be. Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-60285762870118483302018-03-22T10:12:00.000-07:002018-07-24T22:45:45.930-07:00His Little HeroWhen you think about what a hero looks like, what do you envision?<br />
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Perhaps a face damp with sweat and streaked with dirt,<br />
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Or maybe a face contorted in pain coupled with incredible strength.<br />
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A face of peace and love.<br />
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Tears of compassion and understanding. <br />
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You may notice strong arms, carrying or lifting.<br />
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Hands that are digging, pulling, grasping.<br />
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A body that is fully engaged in a struggle.<br />
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A weary, but content form.<br />
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Have you ever seen any or all of these in yourself?<br />
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I was busy getting my usual million things done and realizing that there was no way I was going to accomplish all that I felt I needed to do, when one of my kids just reached in and helped. And together we got it done.<br />
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Another day, I had my priorities wrong and was trying to do things that I felt needed to be done, but were not really essential when my little one asked me to play and then wrapped his sweet arms around me giving me a hug and patting me on the back. Priorities shifted.<br />
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This morning a dear friend called to check on me after a super big event I was part of last night. Making me smile and reminding me to take a moment to settle in the accomplishment.<br />
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When you look in the mirror, would you pick yourself as the hero for someone else?<br />
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I wouldn't pick myself.<br />
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I would probably pick that super smart, super strong, beautiful, courageous, never tired, perfect, oh wait... that doesn't exist.<br />
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Then I remember that every day my Heavenly Father picks me.<br />
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I believe He looks down and says, "Oh good, another one of my heroes just woke up. I have a work for you to do."<br />
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And then in all our doings, He sends these little promptings.<br />
"Smile at this person."<br />
"Reach out to ______"<br />
"Hug your child who just broke your favorite_____"<br />
"Make that meal your son loves, just because."<br />
"Give that compliment to her."<br />
"Forgive that rudeness."<br />
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God has handpicked YOU to be a hero. He knows your face. He knows what you can do and the life He would put you in. He knows the people you will somehow have contact with. He knows the influence that you can have.<br />
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He knows that in the end, love, faith, and courage win and we are part of that in each of our "heroic" acts.<br />
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Your face may be contorted in pain, coupled with incredible strength as you give birth.<br />
Your face may be the one with tears of compassion for a friend who is grieving.<br />
Maybe your strong body is helping to carry the burdens of someone else who just can't carry it all today.<br />
It may be your face damp and streaked with dirt as you help change the tire on that old lady's car.<br />
Maybe your weary body is crawling into bed at the end of a long day of doing what you consider all your normal non-heroic things called "taking care of your family".<br />
Your face of peace and love is healing a person who needs forgiveness.<br />
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My children have often been my heroes. As a child of my Heavenly Father, I have that same opportunity. He has given me all that I need, and what I may lack in the moment, He will provide.<br />
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He knows there are days you will act on those whisperings and moments you won't.<br />
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And all the while He loves you!<br />
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His little hero.<br />
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<br />Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-23595956857306957612017-11-09T22:27:00.002-08:002017-11-09T22:27:33.817-08:00Return CallsHave you ever called and left a message or emailed a loved and trusted friend about an important matter only to wait and wait to hear a reply and not get one? How does it feel?<br />
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If this is someone you love and trust, do you simply wait, do you send another correspondence, do you call again, do you stalk their answering machine or voice mail?<br />
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Do you assume they are thinking about your dilemma and trying to come up with good advice, an appropriate response, or even an answer?<br />
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Or do you assume they just don't want to be bothered by you, think your problem is silly, or that your issue doesn't really merit their time?<br />
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I have had a struggle that has lasted for years, one that I never expected, and one that has seemed insurmountable. I have been stalking God about it for a long time, and prayed and prayed.<br />
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I started with prayers of "please fix this, " to "help me understand," to "help me change me." And finally, "Hey are you even there? Really, are you listening, because I've called on this one about 5,000 times and have you checked your machine lately? It must be broken!" <br />
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Funny how my talks with God on this one have become. Because I really want it fixed for crying out loud and fixed now already! To get to the point that I'm asking if He's even there listening was a super low point for me. And this time, I let Him know that that's how I was feeling, ALONE.<br />
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You know what He did? He heard me! And this is what happened. Shortly after this prayer I had two conversations with dear and trusted friends that I admire greatly. Conversations that I didn't initiate about this problem. Yet these two dear friends described issues and heartaches very similar to mine! I didn't really have to share too much about my issue, because I knew they too were in pain, and suddenly knowing I wasn't alone helped. More than that, knowing that He was listening and wanted me to know I was heard and that I'm not alone filled my empty, aching heart.<br />
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In the many times I have earnestly sought Him in prayer, I may not have gotten the answers I was seeking. For example, "fix this." He hasn't "fixed it," but that doesn't seem to be the plan right now to fix it. It seems like there is much, much more that needs to happen, not only for me, but for the others involved. "Help me understand," while I don't understand why this is going on, or what He has in store for us in all this, I do understand some things much better now. "Help me change me," that is definitely happening. I am changing. And realizing how much I need to change. I often joke that I stopped praying for patience years ago, because I really didn't want him to make me learn patience. He is helping me have experiences that are teaching it to me anyway. Yes, God has a sense of humor.<br />
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I am so grateful for these two friends who don't even know they were part of a Heavenly answer that day. But I know them well enough to know that they recognize promptings and by acting on them, they were an answer to prayer to me. They were the return phone call/email/text that I very much was begging for. They filled me with God's love. I'm also grateful that He gave me the gift to see that as His return call. It makes me wonder how many times I may have overlooked His answers because I was looking for the "fix."<br />
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I'm not going to stop calling Him on this. I still need answers and guidance. But hopefully I will be more aware of the answers He does send. Hopefully, I will also be wise enough to hear his Spirit whisper to me when He is trying to answer someone else's desperate plea.Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-28283794937561246122017-10-19T02:08:00.002-07:002017-10-22T17:56:10.933-07:00Pray On!I was listening to a Christian radio station when someone shared a thought that has resonated with me in so many ways. Please know this is not my thought, but I have to share because it was amazing.<br />
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The idea was this, what would happen if God answered the prayer you said this morning?<br />
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Would anyone else's life be affected?<br />
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Did your prayers include anyone else? If so, were they specific? When you were calling on Heaven, did you have a purpose in mind?<br />
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I couple this with some recent thoughts of my own.<br />
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Am I so busy going to the Lord with my own agenda, have I even thought of Him? What did I think? Did I think to express my love to Him? I do that each morning with my family, do I also do that with my Heavenly Father? Have I asked what His agenda may be and how I may be useful to Him that day?<br />
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There was a man in our church who I loved to listen to his prayers, because he truly recognized the Lord for who He is. He would begin his prayers with words like these, "Almighty God, creator of all that was, is and ever will be..." and then he would give thanks. That greeting to the Lord always humbled me in my seat, to reverence the Creator.<br />
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Have I taken the time to notice his daily gifts to me?<br />
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There was a different man at church who I remember thanking the Lord for "the beautiful crisp, white glittering snow that blanketed the trees." He was so purposeful in noticing the beauties of the daily gifts of God that listening to him pray made me notice those gifts more fully and also be thankful.<br />
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There was a woman years ago that prayed as though the Lord was sitting directly in front of her. She spoke to Him in reverence and conversation, that made me at times take a peak and see if He was right there! Her prayers made me think about the relationship of Him as my Heavenly Father.<br />
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The prayer group I belonged to taught me about the power of group prayer. Many voices of many faiths all praying to the same Being who loved them all. Thanking, asking, noticing in all ways.<br />
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I also read somewhere that "the prayers of yesterday are not enough for the world today." That gave me pause. Are my prayers enough? What does that mean?<br />
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Am I acknowledging God for who He is?<br />
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Do I recognize His bounteous blessings?<br />
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Am I being specific in who/what I am praying for?<br />
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Am I praying for others and their welfare as fully as I do for myself?<br />
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If just one of my prayers in one day was answered, would anyone else be blessed? Would my Heavenly Father know that I appreciate who He is? Would He know that I see and recognize His hand in my life, my surroundings, my world? Would I feel His presence still with me because the conversation was ongoing?<br />
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I have to say, I need to be more thoughtful in my prayers. I'm so grateful to have heard this idea. I hope that today it will help you in your relationship with our Heavenly Father.<br />
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I pray that we will be able to see God more fully in our lives, world, and the miracles all around us, and that as we do, we will acknowledge His greatness, we will trust His ability and we will help bring to pass His plans.<br />
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<br />Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-29752085330646153502017-08-22T22:50:00.000-07:002017-08-22T22:50:28.287-07:00Christians: Get Over Yourselves!Last week I received a "share" on Facebook that sort of sickened me.<br />
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It was a clip of a preacher who had been visited by someone of another faith, and in this clip it was pretty clear that the preacher felt he had the corner on the market on faith, prayer and knowledge and what these other people believed was completely wrong.<br />
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While I am not of their faith, it saddened and sickened me for a few reasons.<br />
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First of all, mocking another for their beliefs, is not only sad, but as Christians, it is so beneath us.<br />
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Secondly, and maybe even more importantly, the Savior made it clear that it is our job to "love one another, as I have loved you." Let that sink in a minute.<br />
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Who are we to decide whether someone else is right or wrong in their belief of the Bible? You are entitled to your opinion, but even if you disagree with someone else's interpretation, it is not up to you to decide if they are right or wrong. <b><i>Not your job!</i></b> It is His to judge.<br />
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The Savior himself, expressed His displeasure with the Pharisees who were judging others. They judged Him, the Savior, for not washing before dinner. And he didn't mince words with them calling them "fools" and saying, "Woe unto you".<br />
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I cannot tell you the number of times I have been accused of, or not considered Christian, because I am the "wrong brand". Really?<br />
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It doesn't really bother me, because I know better, but it bothers me that as religious people, we tolerate that kind of teaching from those within our churches. Have you ever been in church and heard another denomination maligned? I have and it drives me nuts!! Rarely have those people ever known someone of that faith, watched them hold onto their faith through trials, or asked questions of what they really believe, rather than what "they've heard."<br />
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Have you ever heard someone say, "Well, if they weren't (fill in the blank with a religion) they probably wouldn't have that trial/problem.<br />
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Last I checked, I don't know of a single religion whose people don't have problems and trials. Why? Maybe because God is trying to make us more like Him and more reliant on Him.<br />
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I wasn't raised as a young child in the religion I have chosen, I went to a private school of another religion, and it was there that several of the questions they couldn't answer helped me to find the beliefs I have now. However, even though that church wasn't where I wound up, I'm so grateful for the goodness of its people and for many of the teachings, as well as not being able to answer my questions.<br />
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Let's face it, we all want to be right. But we will never be right by mocking others, not loving others, not allowing ourselves to ask questions of our own faith as well as ask genuine questions of others. And then if we need to agree to disagree, so be it. The Judge will take care of it in the long run.<br />
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Our greatest challenge is to love others. If we can do that and bring others to Christ, we have no need to fear. But if we mock each other and send people away from the Savior because we are too busy judging and being right, we lose. We lose BIG.<br />
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I'm not perfect in my faith, but frankly, I don't know anyone who is. We are not here to be perfect, someone already did that. We are here to follow His example the best we can. That may come in calling out the Pharisees, but more often it will be in reaching out to the sick, the poor, the hurting and suffering, the lonely, those faltering in their faith.<br />
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So my fellow Christians it is time to get over ourselves and get on to being the best follower of Christ that we can be. Let's embrace the good things we see in each other as we practice our faiths, as we see the goodness in other churches, in other believers.<br />
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There probably has never been a time where we are needed more collectively than right now. So let's unite in our faith in Christ and uphold each other in our respective faiths. Let's respect each other's faith and show this world what believers really are all about: <b><i>love</i></b>.<br />
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<br />Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-50244017300150177992017-08-17T21:11:00.000-07:002017-08-18T15:02:55.240-07:00Get Your Game On!Have you ever been on a winning team? You know, the one that may have lost a few games during the season, but really nothing to be worried about and your team kept going on and on defeating in game after game.<br />
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How did that feel? Were you so proud to wear your jersey or uniform? Did you like it when people wanted a play by play of some of your hardest games? Which do you remember better, the easy wins or the tough ones?<br />
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Do you realize you get to choose to be on the winning team right now?<br />
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We know at the end of this, God will win.<br />
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It is as simple as that. Which is funny because usually we have to wait game after game throughout a long season to find out who the victor will be.<br />
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But in this, we know that God will win. We have to decide, are we going to be on His team?<br />
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The great thing is, you don't have tryouts, He takes you as you are. It doesn't matter how tall, how fast, how smart, how knowledgeable. He will train you throughout the season. He will give you plays and He will show you how to improve your game in whatever capacity you are playing.<br />
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He will give high fives when you have done well and pat you on the back or dry your tears when you lose or mess up.<br />
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And He will keep putting you back in, no matter what. No one sits the bench on His team, all play.<br />
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It won't matter how long or short our season is, or what position he chooses to play us at, if we are on His team, we win!<br />
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<br />Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-46297076371421523472017-08-05T08:32:00.001-07:002017-08-05T08:33:14.836-07:00Tree, Bush or Rock?Years ago we went to tour the Bio Sphere II. It was a huge experiment here in the United States where scientists got together and created a "mini earth" and locked themselves in for a year to learn about it. They could only eat what they had inside, which was mostly what they harvested. There was a rain forest, and an ocean, a desert area, farm area, etc. <br />
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On the tour, they used to spend a lot of time telling what the scientists discovered. One thing they said really struck us. They said that the trees grew very tall and straight very quickly. But then they would break off. They puzzled over this and wondered why they grew so well, but didn't grow strong. Then they realized that the trees were lacking something, <b><i>wind</i></b>.<br />
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In order for a tree to grow properly, it <i>needs</i> wind.<br />
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It can grow tall and it can grow quickly and have its leaves to photosynthesize, but it cannot grow <i>strong </i>without the resistance of wind.<br />
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This week I was listening to a pod cast that reminded me that God is like the Master Gardener, he knows what he needs to prune in order for it to produce a bounteous harvest. That pruning may not feel so good to the bush at the time to have things snipped off, and sometimes even branches cut off so it can become beautiful and fruitful.<br />
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After talking to a friend who is facing a very long, very hard, very uphill battle, I was thinking about diamonds. To get a brilliant diamond, it has to first be found, mined, and then ground and cut by a master diamond cutter to become this beautiful sparkling gemstone. That sounds like a really awful process, but it is necessary if the diamond is to be worth anything.<br />
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There may be times in our lives where we are like the trees, needing some wind to blow to make us strong, at times even some really strong winds.<br />
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Other times we may need some pruning, have some dead or diseased ideas or traits 'cut off' so that we can then produce our very best.<br />
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Then there are times, like the diamond, we may have a lot of hard stuff that needs to be chiseled off, ground down, to reach that gem which then has to be cut, to shine brilliantly.<br />
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I don't know too many people right now whose lives are just smooth sailing. Many put on a good face and make it look like everything is ok or even fabulous, but that may be the moment they are just needing a little breeze in their lives. For others, it can look and seem as though they are being tumbled around with other rocks, chipping off the hard outside covering.<br />
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Whatever place you may be in in your life, know that The Master knows exactly what He is doing in you. He created you for His purpose and He knows what that is. Maybe you will be a strong tree that will provide shade, relief and protection to others.<br />
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Maybe he created you to produce a bounteous harvest of words or kind works. He knows what and when to prune so you can bring forth an incredible harvest of goodness.<br />
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Maybe you will be the diamond, that has to be ground down and cut and polished to become a valuable treasure.<br />
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Or maybe you will find seasons of all of these in your life.<br />
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I do.<br />
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Sometimes it is incredibly hard to remember all of this, especially when it seems the gale force winds won't stop. It can be so hard to remember there is purpose in all the struggles and hard things that seem to be trying to crush the life, when in actuality they are purposed to give a greater life.<br />
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I'm writing it down so maybe I will remember a little better.<br />
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Grow strong my friend, the harvest is coming and you will shine incredibly. He knows His plan for you.<br />
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<br />Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-30569451123680192432017-07-04T16:03:00.002-07:002017-07-04T16:03:20.203-07:00Independence DayToday in America it is Independence Day, also known as the 4th of July. It is a day off for many, marked by picnics, bbq's, pool parties, apple pie, and hot dogs.<br />
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Historically it is the day when the Declaration of Independence was signed. 56 men, in effect, signed their lives to that document. They become traitors to the King. They were no longer wanting British rule or protection. John Hancock signed it big, he knew there was no going back, nor did he want to. Many of these men lost fortunes because of this, some lost the most; they lost their lives. We can never underestimate the incredible sacrifice these men made to forge a new nation. Nor should we ignore the months and years of discussion, contemplation, concern, and for many, prayer that went in to this decision. It was life altering as well for every person living in this country at that time.<br />
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This morning my husband sat our boys down and talked about the Declaration. A copy hangs on our living room wall. It was signed 241 years ago. 56 names are inscribed on it. I often look at those names boldly signed. Who can possibly comprehend the feelings of these men as they did so?<br />
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<i><b>Great freedoms come at great cost.</b></i><br />
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How many millions of men and women world wide have lost their lives in the quest for freedom? Freedom from tyranny, oppression, and evil.<br />
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Maintaining freedom has taken a lot of work and sacrifice since that original Declaration. It took a civil war to gain the freedoms of the slaves, and continual battles since then to maintain and expand those freedoms.<br />
Our country has battled for our rights as well as the rights of others, something that I'm grateful for as a citizen. <br />
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When I think about this, I cannot help but see a parallel.<br />
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Our Savior gave Himself so we could have freedom from the wages of sin. He gave Himself up at great cost. Maintaining our freedom from sin takes work. It takes us each and every day choosing to continue on the path we have chosen in following our Savior.<br />
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It comes as we battle the sins that do so easily beset us. Sins of coveting that which our neighbor has, the sin of turning away someone in need, the sin of bearing false witness against a neighbor, or killing someone's reputation or their chance of success for our own gain.<br />
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I think a lot about our Founding Fathers. While they were imperfect men, I believe they had great intentions and they were willing to put their lives on the line for it.<br />
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I've been asking myself today what I want to declare independence from.<br />
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I declare independence from the false notion that I have to be perfect and that my family needs to be perfect.<br />
I declare independence from thinking my best efforts aren't good enough, because someone else could do it better. <br />
I declare independence from lack of faith. From lacking the faith that God will indeed help me make it through this life. <br />
I declare independence from thinking that I'm not enough. Like the widow's mites, my little bit given from the best in me will always be enough.<br />
I declare independence from the fear of raising my children. Each day I worry that I'm not doing enough to teach them, guide them, be patient with them.<br />
I can declare this independence today because like our Founding Fathers, I believe it is the right thing to do. It is time to sign my name with a big flourish and trust that my Father has this all in His hands. That each and every day I can let go of my fears and grasp on to faith and trust. What I hope to see happen may not, but if I turn my life to his hands, He can definitely steer me through what needs to happen in my life.<br />
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Each and every day it is my battle to align myself with Him and what He would have me do.<br />
As I do this, I know I cannot go wrong.<br />
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Knowing that gives me freedom!<br />
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What will you declare independence from?<br />
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Today and every day, I wish you a happy Independence Day!Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-18423016276107742642017-06-15T14:34:00.000-07:002018-06-22T09:50:43.105-07:00Realm SquasherLast night as my husband and I were talking about a particular child who is in a competitive sport, but doesn't want to be, we realized that competing against others just isn't his thing.<br />
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Thinking about it in the light of day and examining my heart, I've come to some ugly and true realizations.<br />
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I have a child who HATES school. He will never come home with a straight A report card.<br />
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I have a child who struggles with some really serious anxiety issues. To the point of not being able to go to the bathroom when he needs to because he is overly anxious.<br />
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I have a child who was repeatedly told to fix some things in his performance to get a better score and try as he might he couldn't, until we took the pressure of competing off and then the improvement came.<br />
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What does that mean for me?<br />
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Here's where it gets ugly.<br />
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I have to realize that I am never going to be able to brag about my child's academic successes. He probably won't go to an ivy league school (bonus: we don't have to pay for ivy league). No matter how smart he is, he will not achieve the successes that come in the "regular" academic world. I also have to accept that what I always hoped for him, may not be what makes him happy.<br />
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I have a child who will never compete in the sport he enjoys, because competition shuts him down from making progress. So we will see his progress. No one else will, and there are no ribbons or trophies for those who don't compete.<br />
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We may have to homeschool the one who is so anxious he spends too much time in the bathroom agonizing over his fears. No smiling from risers and cute waves into the audience.<br />
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All those bragging rights about acceptance letters, trophies and ribbons, Christmas concerts and Spring Sings with waving smiling kiddos, are not going to be our regular world. We take them when we can and thoroughly enjoy them. I am becoming increasingly aware that I will not have the kind of Facebook posts, or Instagram pictures that let the world know how amazing and wonderful my kids are.<br />
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I'll admit it. It kind of makes me sad.<br />
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It makes me sad, that as their mom I wanted/needed bragging rights.<br />
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That even for a moment I wanted people to look at me and say "She is an amazing mom, look at what her kids have achieved."<br />
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That doing what's right for my kids may have taken a back seat to what all the expectations are for those who are "successful."<br />
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Writing this I realize I keep saying "my kids." These are not my kids, they are precious sons of a Heavenly Father who has let them come to my home for a little while. They are children of God. They just happen to be in my care for a while.<br />
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I need to stop looking for the world to give them trophies and accolades because those will all go away.<br />
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I need to look for Him to give me guidance as to how to raise them.<br />
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I need to see them as He does. Just as importantly, they need to see themselves as He does.<br />
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I need to stop seeing them as potential Facebook fodder and more as precious gifts, gifts that will mature and move away.<br />
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I need to help them realize who they are and that no college acceptance or rejection, last place trophy or concert defines who they really are in my eyes or His.<br />
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I need to realize that in the scholastic realm, sports realm, I can do it all realm, our kiddos may not be participants. Ultimately those realms don't matter. They may seem important for a while, and they can teach important things. But in the wholeness of life, they are dust collectors, and pride enhancers. I don't need any more dust collectors. I'm already struggling with my pride, I don't need any more to get over, thank you very much.<br />
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So I guess I am a realm squasher. Pretty sure I might put that on my next resume. It's actually starting to sound catchy to me.<br />
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<br />Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-74921822059895011702017-06-11T22:53:00.000-07:002017-06-12T07:51:49.759-07:00Dancing in the StormI recently returned from the privilege of joining with several other women in taking 27 girls between the ages of 12 and 18 to camp.<br />
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In the woods.<br />
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In tents.<br />
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For five days.<br />
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And it was fantastic!<br />
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It was such an honor to be surrounded by these amazing young girls and awesome leaders! And I feel like I had one suspicion confirmed for me: girls smell better than boys. Even after five days of camping.<br />
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I digress.<br />
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There was an afternoon that was set aside for us to take the girls to a lake and do some canoeing. Just after lunch as we were talking about it, the sky quickly started clouding up. As I looked, I couldn't help but think about the coming storm and what that would do to our chance of canoeing. But, undaunted we set out. On the way, it started raining. I'm not talking a light sprinkle, or even a steady drip. I'm talking pouring!<br />
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Then it went from pouring to hailing! Yes, hailing!!!!<br />
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But we continued to the lake. Hoping that maybe the storm had already passed the lake. No such luck!<br />
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When we got there, the storm was coming. We said a prayer that if possible, the storm would pass us, but if not that all would be well.<br />
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So we waited out the storm.<br />
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We did it <i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">dancing</span></i>.<br />
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We turned on the music in one of the trucks and danced in the parking lot. We got rained on just a bit.<br />
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Sure enough, about a half hour later the storm had worked its work and the clouds were skeedaddling away, we got the girls on the water and had a great time. We even saw a bald eagle!<br />
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Here's what I took away from this experience.<br />
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The storms will come.<br />
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Sometimes, when we pray, the Lord will remove the storm and get it clearly out of our midst.<br />
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But often, He allows the storm and gives us a chance to wait it out.<br />
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But why? Why doesn't He just make it go away already? What about our plans?<br />
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Well, the storm has its purpose too. Maybe that bit of ground needs rain. Maybe that rain will put out a small fire. Maybe that lightning will start a needed fire. Maybe that storm will make us wait and learn patience. Maybe that storm will give us the chance to dance.<br />
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I don't know why some storms come to us.<br />
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I know in one of the big storms in my life I have been saying for a long time, "go away, I'm tired" but it hasn't gone away. I know I'm far more patient than I was years ago. I know I have far more endurance that I did before battling many storms. But I also know, I'm not there yet. I'm not at the end. He still has more for me to learn and experience.<br />
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And maybe, this time, or for just one day I will be wise enough to accept the storm, turn up the music and dance through it, knowing He has a purpose in it.<br />
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That may sound very easy and even idealistic. Right now, in the midst of the storm, it is even hard to write. But the reality is I need a break from looking at, wondering what will come of it, and trying to anticipate what will come next. I need to let go and just dance.<br />
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Do you?<br />
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If so, turn up the tunes, dance your little heart out and let the rain fall. It will fall no matter what, so we may as well turn our faces to it, let it wash us, and pull out that smile that may need dusting off from the storms we are in the midst of.<br />
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If you are on the other side of the storm, thank the Lord for helping you make it through and maybe you could turn on some music for someone who is in one. If you are headed into one, pull out your raingear: the scriptures, prayers, words of those who inspire you to find the Lord. And load up on music that uplifts and inspires you, and put your dancing shoes on. For those somewhere in the middle, don't give up!! Keep praying and fasting and holding to the promises of God. <br />
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And in the words of Lee Ann Womack, "I hope you dance!"<br />
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<br />Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749357996298049904.post-75495628274122725322017-05-24T09:41:00.001-07:002017-05-24T10:07:08.921-07:00Best Darn Pencil Tapper<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Right now, I have to say something that is just tugging on my heart.<br />
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It's awards time.<br />
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There are the awards ceremonies for the kids that have the best grades and have achieved amazing scholastic heights. And there are the kids who come home with the paper certificates that say things like "Best Door Greeter", or "Best Speller", "Most Cheerful", and so on.<br />
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There are times when I just think it's silly how many meaningless awards we give out, because we think everyone has to have one.<br />
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But now, as a Momma, there is an award I have to give. "Best Darn Pencil Tapper."<br />
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Because I have one. He is an amazing pencil tapper. He's got rhythym, and endurance (he can probably tap longer and harder than the honor students), and can drive an entire class nuts in record time.<br />
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Why does he deserve this award?<br />
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Watch out, this is where my heart is so full.<br />
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You see, this kid goes to school day after day and year after year putting on his "good face" when inside he is dying. No one else but his family gets to see that. None of his teachers have seen his absolute frustration knowing that no matter how hard he tries, no matter how much tutoring he goes to, he doesn't understand until about 2 months after the test, but by then he is already 6 or 7 other tests behind. <br />
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He gets the assignments in all his classes and his brain shuts down from overload. He thinks about all the assignments and realizes that it is like gathering feathers on a windy day. He will not be able to gather all that information from his brain, let alone compile it all into a brilliant paper with annotations.<br />
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After days of encouragement from his family he chooses one assignment, the one making a video, spends days on it, and turns it in late because he couldn't get it to export to the right place. And rather than ask for help, he silently, again, struggles knowing there was another thing he couldn't do right.<br />
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He looks at the other kids who put out papers as though Shakespeare lives in their back pockets, fly through the math like Einstein, and generally succeed at everything placed in front of them, and silently aches that that is not him.<br />
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Oh, he has gotten the paper certificates at times for being the best pencil sharpener, etc. but what I really wish is that his teachers could comprehend what is going on in his brain. How much he wants to succeed, and now after so many years of "school failures" doesn't believe it is possible, or shuts down completely after one failure, because really, why try anymore?<br />
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So for my son, and for all the other pencil tappers out there, I want to take a minute and honor you.<br />
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I applaud you for going anyway. For each and every day that you walk into those schools where no one really understands, way to go.<br />
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For trying over and over again, even if it is only because your mom or dad begged you to try again, because you love your parents you keep trying.<br />
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For not acting on the intense anger and frustration you feel about not being able to do it "right."<br />
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For being the nice kid, who really understands that there are other kids who also don't get it and you don't make fun of or belittle others or their ideas.<br />
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For being the class crack up, because without you some weeks, or months all that would happen would be the same old, boring, day to day stuff.<br />
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For being the kid who has a head full of miscellaneous ideas and info, because that is how you think and process in small, random bits.<br />
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For being the kid who has the wild and crazy ideas that make for fun videos, interesting science experiments and fun lunch times.<br />
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For being the kid who makes friends with everyone, because you know how it feels to be labeled, and looked down on.<br />
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There is so much to love about you and celebrate in you!<br />
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Your grades are really just a letter on a piece of paper. Yes, those letters can get you places, for a while, and I don't want you to give up on doing your best.<br />
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Those other parts of you, are the qualities you will carry into the rest of your life. When you are 40, no one will know or care what you got in High School English. But they will know if they can count on you to help in a crises, they will know if they can trust you with a burden they are carrying, they will know that if they fail, you will not see them as a failure.<br />
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Congratulations my pencil tapper!<br />
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You are the Best Darn Pencil Tapper I know!<br />
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I'm so proud of who you really are!<br />
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I love you!<br />
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<br />Cheryl Merrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16442329539076502030noreply@blogger.com2