Dear Teacher

Dear Teacher,

I just wanted you to know that my child didn't do his homework tonight.

He came home from school, had a snack, and played a bit with his brothers. Then we looked outside and noticed the wind had picked up and the trees were swaying and we saw rain clouds coming. And we watched them. We felt the air finally cool down, after a really long hot summer.

Then the rain hit, hard.

We let the drops crash down on our heads as we walked down the street to see if the neighbor kids wanted to play in the rain too. We haven't seen them in months. Haven't really been able to play since school got started.

So they played in the soaking, splattering, ear filling rain.

They rode scooters in it. They played ball in it. Then the rain slowed and stopped far too soon.

So they floated bits of seed pods and leaves down the gutter.

They splashed in the puddles with their hands and then jumped in with both feet.

They laughed and giggled and raced.

One of them jumped on the trampoline in the pouring rain.

They used their little muscles that have been sitting most of the day as they ran, jumped, scooted and splashed.

They used their ears enjoying the sounds of wind and raindrops and laughter.

They used their brains as they floated bits down the gutter and determined who would win.

Not once did they fight.

Not once did I have to worry about screen time, because no one thought of the screens.

There were a few owwies that needed bandaids and tears wiped away from slipping.

They came inside and changed and went back out and played until dark. Something my kids haven't done since last spring when it was cooler. And my husband and I sat and listened to the music of them laughing and giggling and playing. A sound we don't hear often enough now.

I want you to know, I realize the abundance of homework is not your fault. I realize that our society and "the experts" have decided that "teaching" our kids things their brains aren't ready for but look really good and fancy is super important. I realize what is expected of you each and every day is ludicrous.

But I wanted you to know that tonight my kids got a real education. They did the most important homework they could possibly do.

Tonight, they were kids.

I Went AWOW

Sorry dear friends. I went AWOW. That stands for Absent With Out Writing.

It has been a very weird time for me, and honestly, not sure it is over.

Several months ago I was feeling agitated every time I sat down to write. I look back at several of the drafts and I think I see why. I was getting so worked up about what I see going on in the world, in politics, in life, that I just could no longer really hear The Voice I needed to hear. I couldn't really hear the Spirit talking to me.

And I'm not sure that I can yet. Not to say that I haven't heard the Spirit in months, more that I need to better be able to hear it and then act on what I hear. So I've taken a break.

Here's what I've learned so far:

I need to be quiet if I want to hear.
I've been so busy hearing all the craziness in the world and voicing my opinion that I'm not really listening to His truth. I have needed to be quiet and swallow my words, because really they have all been my words lately, which is why looking back I see lots of drafts and not a lot of posts.

I need to act on what I hear.
This can be a hard one for me. Sometimes I just get stubborn and say, "But I don't want to do/say/write that."
Have you ever noticed that at times what God is telling you to do goes against your natural grain? I am not by nature a quiet person. I talk loud and laugh loud. So for Him to tell me to be quiet for a while- very tough!

I've noticed more just how many times a day the Lord is asking me to help His children by making that phone call or addressing a need or saying a prayer, and yet, I still continue on with my own plans at times.

It is humbling to think of what I could be accomplishing and frustrating to see how easily selfish I can be at times.

So I may not be fully back yet, but I am also not gone.

I am simply trying to be a better listener.

Womanhood Revisited

Last year I got totally pumped to start a "Womanhood Movement". One that honors TRUE womanhood. The essence that is divinely part of having xx chromosomes.

In some measure that has been reignited due to several factors. The first being Mother's Day. That particular holiday has driven me nuts for some time. During years struggling with infertility it brought me to tears. When children did arrive and got old enough to talk back I began to see my ineptitude clearly (in my eyes) as a mother, which then made it so disheartening to look through the Mother's day cards for my own mom, read all these mushy things about how amazing I was supposed to be and fully feeling that I was not.

But now I have come to terms with mushy cards and what I see now is how many women truly honor their womanhood, but many feel left out because they haven't given birth.

Giving birth isn't what makes us women. It is one aspect of being a woman.

Being a woman is far more than giving birth. It is how we care for others, it is how we multi task, it is how we uphold and strengthen others, how we bring life, joy and color to the world. It is in how we mend hearts, cheerlead those who are losing, see a need to meet and meet it. It is how we care for children even when they aren't ours.

I recently heard Russell M. Nelson, a renowned heart surgeon, talk about how after losing 2 little sisters with the same heart defect he was devastated by their loss and wanted to quit. His wife let him cry his heart out then sent him back to work.  He was the means of many people being healed, largely because his wife held his heart for a while and then sent him back out to do his life's work. She had vision, she knew what he could become. She knew he was hurting and needed to grieve. She also knew she needed to put him "back on the horse" so to speak.

Years ago I worked for a very small company, there were 4 employees. A husband, wife and 2 other employees. The husband was an idea man. He was very creative. He was smart. He was also disorganized, gave up easily, changed direction frequently. But his wife was a rock. She kept him on an even keel. She knew when to let him run with an idea and when to reign him in. That company was very successful. It was largely because of the wife and her abilities to help her husband succeed.

I know so many women who are the mainstay for the fields they work in because of their innate womanly capabilities that have nothing to do with whether they are married, single, have children or not. Just for instance, look at the teaching field which is dominated by amazing women! Or the nursing field. Teaching, caring for, helping others to become who they are meant to be, or helping them die with a caring friend by their side. These are a few hallmarks of those professions which are hugely populated by women.

We need to keep celebrating true womanhood! We need to honor it as women, by being honorable women. The girls who are watching us need to know that we value how we are made, what we do because we are women. They need to see that there is a beautiful difference between the sexes and that those differences don't compete with each other, they complete each other.

I am going to refer you to last year's posts in hopes that you will take the Womanhood Challenge.
Please refer to this post:  blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3749357996298049904#editor/target=post;postID=560363364959238364;onPublishedMenu=posts;onClosedMenu=posts;postNum=66;src=postname

So my dear friends, as you contemplate your week ahead, I want you to start thinking ahead. Who can you recognize for being an amazing woman? Who is it that honors being a woman? Who is it that delights in being a daughter of God? Who is it that holds the pieces together when it looks like they are about to fall apart? Who do you know that plugs along by themselves, but who would be so very much missed because she just does so much for others? Who has changed your world by being your friend or confidant? Let's take some time this week to ponder on it, perhaps write some notes and get ready to honor Womanhood next week.

4 Boys, 1 Mom and a Grocery Store

Sounds like the title of a T.V. show doesn't it?

It kind of plays out like one as well, including the laugh track that comes from your kids and perhaps the people sitting at the in-store coffee shop who have nothing better to do than sip coffee and people watch at 3:30 in the afternoon when you should really already be in the process of dinner, not heading to the store with post-school, four starving males under the age of 16.

It is an activity I do only in emergencies because shopping with kids, in general, borders on crazy anyway, but shopping with 4 boys after school is akin to setting fire to your wallet and losing your mind simultaneously, in public.

So should you ever, for whatever reason: demomtia, momheimer's, Mother Hubbard disease, whatever it may be, have to go to the store with your children, go prepared.

Yep, have your list in hand. Not the grocery list, that's secondary. The one with emergency numbers. The number for the friend you can call and have her come rescue you by taking the child who began crying the minute you pulled into the parking lot because he has to go to the store "eyry day." That's a mythical person by the way, they only exist in parenting books.

The number for your spouse so you can let them know that even though you got to the store at 3:30 and it is now almost 5 you still haven't gotten to the dairy section yet, please pick up a pizza on your way home.

You have carefully made your assignments and attack plan before you entered the store. The oldest was assigned to push the cart down the middle of the aisle so the youngest can't reach anything on either side. The second is to quickly put back anything that the 3rd is grabbing off of shelves and placing in the cart while you are scanning shelves and list and mentally thinking about your pantry.

You smile for the kindly older people who say nice things about how cute your kids are, while you are wondering how on earth they suddenly have bright red mouths. You endure the comments of those who clearly have an agenda, "Are all of these children yours? Are you trying to repopulate the earth yourself? Do you think that is environmentally responsible?" And as you hear a scream from another aisle you say a silent prayer for that parent and quickly count heads making sure none of yours have escaped and are the cause of the distress being heard.

You are doing all of this in "go mode" which means you are talking quickly, reacting quickly and thinking faster than is humanly possible.

You have quieted a child asking in his outside voice, "Why does that lady have blue hair?" As well as excusing him to the man who he told, in the same outside voice,  that he wears race car underwear and asks, "What kind of underwear do youse wear?"

Embarrassment is no longer part of your daily experience. You have been humbled to the dust by your children's comments and questions already. You now just hope that you actually have words of wisdom and redirection that make sense as you are trying to decide if you want to buy boxed pancake mix or make it yourself.

You have now made sure there is at least one thing in the cart that each family member can/will eat under the duress of starvation. The adrenaline rush of the expedition is wearing off and you head for the checkout. This is when it takes all of your reserves and stamina because the dreaded checkout lane is full of reachable sugar laden goodies you don't want your kids to have, touch or see, as well as magazine covers you don't want scarring the eyes of your adolescent teen who is trying to stay virtuous in spite of, well, Junior High.

Then, the reward hits. Your eyes meet. The waters have parted and you get her/him. The cashier who removes each and every unwanted pack of gum, ring pop, trinket, toy and gift card, except that one. The dark chocolate Dove bar you surreptitiously put on the conveyor belt and she hands you tucked nicely into the folded receipt whose final total declares that your children will have to earn their way through college because your 401k will be paying to fill their little bellies.

You have survived with your chocolate now safely in your purse, groceries headed to the car, all little heads accounted for when your realize with your heart sinking to the very bottom of your feet.

You forgot the milk.

The Good Fight

Nope, this post isn't about my boys.

I hope though, that it will be a call to arms so to speak.

It is time to put down the poisons of judgement, the mirage of perfection, and the emptiness of worldly cares.

It is time for us to live what we believe.

I believe in Jesus Christ.

I believe that it is only by Him and through Him that any of us can ever return to the Father.

It is not for me to judge and decide who will or won't get into heaven.

We can try to live lives that look like perfection, but that is not mentioned anywhere in scripture. I have never read a passage that says, "If you have a picture perfect home, are married, have 12 beautiful children who are all dressed in matching outfits, play every instrument, sport and participate in every activity, send out amazing Christmas cards faithfully with a well written letter, and have a well manicured lawn, you are going straight to heaven."

Nope. Never have I read that.

But I have read, "Judge not that ye be not judged." Matthew 7:1-3
"...do good to him that persecute you and despitefully use you," Matthew 5:44
"For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me."John 6:38

It is time for me to fully engage myself to His work. To reaching out to the poor and needy, even if that means that I can't get that dent in my car fixed.

It means looking at myself and evaluating where I am lacking.
Do I care for others as much as myself,  or do I care more about what they think of me?

Am I trying to look like everything in my life is perfect, or am I showing the world what God can do with a very imperfect person?

Do I have the courage to speak up and speak out when God needs me to?

Do I truly love, or am I honest enough to say, "Ok Lord, I have trouble loving this person, please help me love them."

Am I so busy finding the fault in others, that I can't see what I need to change?

Do I reach out only to those who are my friends and neighbors, or do I help those who can do me no good?

Do I know what Christ taught and what He promised, as well as I know what the characters on my favorite shows say?

My friends, fellow Christians, those who are coming to know Christ, and anyone who reads this that I will never meet in this life, it is time for us to put ourselves aside and come unto Him. It is time for us to unite, no matter what our religions might be, and stand on the merits of Christ. It is time to take His name upon us, step out in faith and stand together to show this world what He really is all about.

And that is to bring to pass that immortality and eternal life of man. To give us a chance to return to our Heavenly home. To know the peace and power of forgiveness and redemption, even when we have done NOTHING to deserve it!

Pain and Butterflies

I love butterflies! There is something so dainty and beautiful about a butterfly flitting through the yard. I always pause, just for a moment to appreciate them.

I also love caterpillars! They come in so many different colors and patterns. Some are furry, some aren't, some have stripes, others are plain. But the amazing thing about them is to think of the change they will go through to become these dainty beautiful creatures silently drifting through your flowers.

I'm sure we have all thought about the change they go through to become those beautiful creatures.

But today I was thinking about how it is kind of an unattractive process. Have you ever seen a chrysalis? Not very pretty. Not colorful. If you didn't know what it was, or what was happening inside you would completely overlook it.

Yet, it is such an essential part of what God created that caterpillar to do. To change. To become something new. To struggle out of what is holding it, into its new and different form. Somehow, instinctively, that caterpillar knows that it has to pull in, take some time to build it a place to change and then the change begins.

We were all created to do things. What you and I were created to do, may be very different. But to completely fulfil what God's purpose for us is, requires change. It requires us to let go of who we think we are to become what He created us to be. He did not create us to be selfish, unkind and prideful. He created us to be the opposite, selfless, kind and humble.

A caterpillar is an interesting creature. It eats plants and poops. In that part of its lifecycle it does do something, but not a lot. However, when it becomes a butterfly it can pollinate plants and flowers. It can lay eggs to create more caterpillars. It cannot reach the full measure of its potential in the caterpillar state. It must change.

Change is often ugly, uncomfortable and unattractive to those who don't understand what we are going through. It's often not until the metamorphosis is complete that others can appreciate what we have gone through.

But we need to not fear the ugly. That is the only way a caterpillar can change into the butterfly it was created to be. We need to recognize that the work is hard and sometimes silent, sometimes seems boring, can take longer than we think.

And in all that, we need to remember that the process is different for each of us. We may look at someone else and think, Hhmmmm, not so attractive." But that might be the chrysalis part of the change that person is going through.

I am currently raising a teenager. If nothing else, it qualifies me to recognize how a metamorphosis can be frustrating, ugly, difficult, uncomfortable, and seemingly unending.
Can you think back to a time as a child when you had growing pains? I remember waking up at nights with my legs aching. The pain was unexpected and overwhelming. It was also seemingly "undeserved." The pain wasn't from an injury, or as the result of too much running, hours of roller skating or anything else. It was simply part of the process of changing, growing. Yet that pain was essential to my literal growth.

Some of my most frustrating and ugly spots have been when I realized that I wasn't being who God wanted me to be and that it was time for change and I didn't necessarily know how, or even want to change.

But when I let go, and let Him do His work, He makes me more of the beautiful creation He intended. My change will take a lifetime. There will be times that I feel like the gorgeous butterfly, but more often than not, I will probably feel like the ugly chrysalis. And that's okay, as long as I don't lose sight of the process and forget the outcome! He created me to be more than just a caterpillar. He created me to be a useful and beautiful butterfly.

What Size Casket Will You Have?

In Sunday School, this sweet older gentleman that I just love, related the following story.

A religious man was invited to the home of a very wealthy acquaintance. He got there and looked around at all the amazing and beautiful things. As they wandered through the house looking at all this man had acquired he finally asked, "To what do you attribute all that you have?" At which the wealthy man said, "Me. I have done all of this. I have worked hard for everything you see here."

Then this sweet man finished this story with this comment, "You know, that rich man will eventually wind up in the same place we pretty much all do. The dimensions are about 6 feet long by 2 feet wide."

Now there are of course two striking parallels for this story.

The first being, that the wealthy man attributed everything he had to himself. I'm not saying he didn't work hard, or have a lot of intelligence. But the ability to work hard, having intelligence, being a good manager of money, etc. are all gifts from God. Sometimes not having those gifts is also a great mercy from God.

I'll be honest, if I had a great body, I would be awfully tempted to flaunt it. If I had a lot of money, I would find lots of frivolous things to waste it on. So God has graciously saved me from having those issues!

The second notion in this story is that we will all eventually be put in the same place, a nearly 7 foot by 2 1/2 foot box, or perhaps a pretty urn. No matter what we have earned, or attained to in this life!

The interesting thing is, you can shove an awful lot of love in a heart, a ton of knowledge in a brain, and a boatload of soul in a person and it never changes their size or shape!

So when we leave this life and eventually report back to our Maker, He will want to take a tour of us and see all that we did with what He gave us.

Did we fill the vastness of our mind with His word? Did we put in good books, and words of wisdom? Did we learn all that we could learn and did we take care of the brain we were given?

How about our hearts? Did we fill them up with love for others, or only ourselves? Did we have them stretched by loving our children or spouse or friends, even when they weren't very loveable? Did we turn away from or reach out to those who were different, unkempt, challenging, or weird? Did we help even when we weren't sure we had the time to give or the means? Was our heart filled with love for others?

Did we fill our souls with goodness and light? Did we accept the whisperings of the Spirit when we needed to change and try to make those changes? Were we humble enough to recognize the gifts we were given and do something with them?  Were we filled with the love of God and let that spill out to others?

So what size coffin will you have? Probably about the same size as most everyone else. But it doesn't really matter, because what's in it isn't really what's in it.

Let's all go out and fill up our hearts, minds and spirits and make them beautiful palaces to visit and share with others, because that is what we will take with us.