Perusing Blogs

So I have been perusing other blogs and I find it kind of interesting.

I realize that most blogs now have a theme.

Have you noticed how many people now are "foodies"? You know, they make these great meals with 20 ingredients of which you can only find 4 at your local grocery and you have to order the rest online or find a specialty market. Most of the time, I'm not sure how to pronounce the name of the meal or several of the ingredients. Why don't they put a pronunciation guide?

And of course once the meal is made they not only have it beautifully presented on a rustic table that has not only matching placemats (that are all clean) but centerpieces of real flowers!

I just want to know, is the food still hot when the family finally comes to the table?

If I tried that at my house, there would be mutiny! No one would wait around while I made sure the food was perfectly displayed and the lighting was right and I had pictures from all the right angles. In all actuality, no one would want to see pictures of rewarmed mac and cheese anyway (even if it is homemade).

What do you call a food blogger? A "flogger"? or maybe a "fooger" (rhymes with booger)?

Then there are the exercise blogs. Would you be an "exersogger"? I love how they could make me look like (insert famous person's name, because I don't know any of them anyway) in just 30 days! If only I had the attention span for 30 days! By day 15 I have to start all over again because it took me 3 months to get that far!

There are the parenting blogs. I enjoy some of those and think, maybe someday I will be that all around amazing. When I have dementia in my 90's I know looking back I will have been all that. It does give really old age a little glimmer of goodness.
Really, I do hope my boys will get to marry a girl from one of those parents, so they know how to do it just right.
Meanwhile, I hope my boys will eventually look back and see that we did a few things right and be grateful that we are saving for their psychiatric funds.

I do enjoy occasionally looking at the do it yourself blogs. I even have a very dear friend who writes one and is as amazing as all of her projects.
But I wonder. Are these people born with special glasses? The kind that you put on and you can see how that ugly toilet paper holder can be remade into a beautiful chandelier in 10 days or less for under $10.
How do they find these awesome "pieces" to remake? When I go to flea markets, thrift stores, and Goodwill I NEVER see these things! I only see the stuff  I donated 3 years ago, that no one else wants either.

So, I'm not any of those. You will rarely find a recipe on here, because there's no way I'm going to take pictures of our dinner! I'm not an exersogger and I'm pretty sure Goodwill has my picture on a secret bulletin board in the back that says, "Under no circumstances accept donations from this lady. They are not the remake-able items we can sell." I'm certainly not a parenting expert, just ask my kids- they will be happy to tell you! I may occasionally share a tip I find or something new I've tried.

But mostly, what you will find is me. You will find that the things I absolutely love are my faith, my family, and trying to find things to laugh about or make others laugh. When I was a kid, I really wanted to be Lucille Ball. I was pretty sure we were related and I was sure there was a young Ricky Ricardo somewhere out there for me.

Well, some parts of my life do seem like "I love Lucy" reruns, but for the most part my life is pretty much like everyone else's.

Potty Training

I realize I am resorting to "potty humor", but desperate times call for....
 a sense of humor.

I am in the throes of potty training for the last time. And I realize that I must find the humor or I will go undeniably crazy (up till now I have denied my craziness).

So here are my top 10 ways to know you are indeed potty training.

1. You find yourself asking everyone multiple times if they have gone potty before you leave the house, this includes spouse and adult friends.

2. You want to invite your friends to eat in your bathroom. Not to gross anyone out, but because of all the time you spend in there it is the cleanest room in your house. At least from what you remember. They would have to bring the food though, you haven't cooked all week.

3. You start buying "potty treats" you like, regardless of what your child wants.

4. You divvy out those potty treats on a "one for you, three for me basis" and after they are in bed, you make a raid on said treats.

5. You actually take the time to make a cost analysis of your child using diapers until young adulthood and try to determine how serious you are about them attending college after all.

6. You find yourself interrupting the phrase,"Mommy, I need... with  RUN, RUN, RUN!!!"

7. You are pretty sure you haven't left the house in at least a month, even though it is more like 3 days.

8. You realize that you haven't been to the bathroom yourself in 3 days, because you don't want to see that room on your "time off".

9. You hear your child telling a stranger that he has on "race car underwear, what kind do youse wear?"

10. You are LATE, LATE, LATE. No matter how on time, (or not) you usually are, you are now habitually late to everything either because they announced in the car as you were pulling away that they need to go (yes, in spite of your repeated queries of "Does anyone need to go potty?"), or you have to change clothes, or you are getting that diaper you are sure you won't need, and most likely because you realize that now you need to go.

With my first child I realized that like several other things parenting is not for the weak. It is not for those easily grossed out. But I had no idea how close to pure insanity potty training really can take you. It makes me a nut case and I am always glad when it is done. This time though, I have to laugh a bit more because it is the end of that chapter for me. And that makes me a little sad.
See, I told you it makes me a little crazy!

Pushy Mom

After weeks and months, okay, years of pushing my kids to do their chores, get their homework done, go to their activities, go to church, etc. I finally admit I am a pushy Mom.

And sometimes, depending on the child, I am nicer about it than others, because frankly depending on what mood they are in determines at times how I push.

I was so grateful a month ago when some men from our church were visiting with our family and one mentioned how when his son was young sometimes said he didn't want to go to church and this man told him time and again, "You don't have ta wanna, ya just hafta."

That resonated with me and I used that very phrase, (yep, said it just like that) getting my kids off to church.

I'm finding in raising my kids that in preparing them for the real world they will have to do work they don't want to do, go when they feel sick, do even when they are tired, show up when they have someplace else they would rather be and so on.

Now I also am not the mom that has my kids in a billion things!!! They do school, scouts and karate. That is it! Do I wish they would take music lessons and art lessons and play sports? Yes, sort of.

 I would love for my boys to play music, I think it is such an amazing skill, that provides beauty.
Do I wish they wanted to play sports? Yes! Being part of a team teaches invaluable lessons about working together, practicing, accountability and so on.

But I know that right now our lives are full with what we have. I could push more, but I'm not sure it would bring about the intended results. We can't all do everything. There are some kids who thrive on doing many things and some kids who would not. I am amazed by families whose kids do all those things and get everything else done too! At times I wonder if I should push more.

Then I look at my kids and evaluate where they are and their happiness and what our family can do. It is a very personal decision that is different for each family. What each family choses to do, does not make them better or worse than mine. Just different.

So for now, I keep pushing the things that I know are important for my kids and I don't worry about the rest.

Besides, that will give them something to complain about when they are all grown up and we have our Christmas get togethers and no one can play the piano sitting there.

Which is ok too, because then no one will be able to make fun of my singing!

An Open Letter to Pool Staff

Dear Lifeguard, Dive Coach, Swim Teacher,

 I imagine that for you, this job is a fun way to make some good money over the summer. You get to be outside all the time, there's music, fun friends, you get a tan and it's a pretty fun environment.

As a mother of four children there are a few things I would like you to know after our first day of lessons.

Today, you taught my children, and I watched and listened.

I watched as you complimented each kid on something they did right, either with their form or their effort.

Do you know that those words may be the only compliments some of those kids get each day?

You said something good to every kid, no matter their size, shape, or ability. Some of these kids are at that yucky awkward phase in life. Your praise, as one of their peers, means a tremendous amount! You don't know which kids had a rough school year and are trying to find something, anything, to be successful at, but they do.

Thank you for helping them feel good about something they are doing right.

I watched as you took the time to point out what they need to work on so they can become better. They listened to you because you are so close in age, you are more like a friend than a teacher. For helping them to learn how to improve in a very low key way, thank you!

I didn't watch you watch my kids as we swam as a family, but I was so glad to know that you are watching!!
 I need to know you are watching and not daydreaming, or talking to friends because I don't have enough eyes for all of my kids. I know how important taking them to the pool to experience the water and learning to swim is.

I know that they learn more about swimming and holding their breath from being there a lot and experiencing it, than they do from lessons, although those are important too.

I also know that when you blow your whistle at them and tell them not to do certain things it is because you are trying to protect them or others. Thank you! They may not always be listening, or sometimes they keep running, but thank you for trying to keep them safe!

I know that your job is super important! I know how quickly a child can drown even in shallow water. As I was in the shallow end with my little ones, I was watching one jump in, only to turn back and see the other under water. It scared me to death!!! Again, I am glad to know that I have your eyes as well as mine! Thank you!

You may not realize that  you work miracles with ice and popsicles! Last summer you soothed the embarrassment and pain of a high dive belly flop and a first time bee sting with these and some kind words. Thank you!

Some days, your job may seem boring, but those of us who take our kids to the pool week after week, appreciate what you do.

Please continue to give praise to those who are learning and trying! It means so much coming from you.

Please continue to tell them how to improve, it often has more power coming from you than me.

Please continue to blow your whistle if they are doing something they shouldn't. They need to know that Mom and Dad aren't the only ones who establish rules and enforce them.

Please help them learn to love the water and the joy of swimming. It is truly a lifelong skill.

Please keep watching! I need your eyes too.

And please wear sunscreen every day, because I do worry about you and I want you to someday watch your own children at the pool.

Love,
Cheryl Merrill
A Mom, a mother of 4, and a friend

The Indy 500 and Flowers?

Yes, we return to the subject of racing.

In my prior post on Watch Out Nascar I think I pretty well summed up my views on professional car racing  and why I deserve the big bucks, but I absolutely have to add my husbands further thoughts on the subject.

We were at dinner  talking about the upcoming Indy 500. Still not understanding how anyone can spend hours watching a bunch of cars drive around in a modified oval shape, my husband tried an analogy.

Me: I don't understand how you can sit and watch cars go around in a circle for hours.
Him: Look, you can go to the nursery and spend hours looking at flowers and plants and stuff and they all just sit there.
Me: huh??!
Him: What if all those plants and flowers were flying around a track over 200 miles an hour!! Now that would be something to watch!!!
Me: (pulling myself off the floor and trying to keep a straight face) Yeah, I guess that would be something to watch.
Him: So now it is time to record the Indy 500 so I can watch the elegant cars race.
Me: Did you just describe the Indy cars as elegant?
HIm: Yeah, there is a difference between NASCAR and Indy. NASCAR is like the beer version of racing and Indy is like the champagne version.
Me: Wait, I thought they use champagne at the end of NASCAR and milk at the end of Indy.
Him: You just don't get it!

I still stand by my opinion on racing, I think I do the same thing without any help and no sponsors and I don't get paid for it, but I have to say I was pretty happy to hear how the race turned out this year.
The guy, Juan Pablo Montoya (yes, my husband insisted I mention him by name) who was in the 30th position out of 33 (which is the last row) won the race. It is nice to see that sometimes in the real world those that start out dead last, can win.

Loneliness

There are times in my life where I have felt utterly alone.
The kind of alone-ness that makes you wonder if the heavens are listening.

I have been thinking about that a lot as a parent. As I send my kids off to school each day and there is no telling what they might experience, I don't want them to ever feel alone. After all, the world we live in is crazy and getting crazier by the minute. The world they go off to can be very lonely, especially when you are having a hard time finding friends.

I know the Savior felt that loneliness. Could anyone ever feel more alone than to be taken from their family and closest friends, falsely put on trial, and sentenced to death?

I also know that "Footprints in the Sand" poem about the Savior walking beside the person and in the lowest points of life there being only one set of prints in the sand. The explanation is that is when He carried him.

Have you ever had a child fall asleep in their car seat and when you get home you quietly and gently unbuckle them and pull them into your arms, and noticed that for just the briefest moment they open their eyes and see either their surroundings or your face, recognize home and safety and immediately go back to sleep, slack in your arms. Completely trusting and feeling safe they fully relax.

I have noticed it a lot in my youngest, maybe because he falls asleep in the car more than any of my other kids. Somehow it brings me great joy. To know that he just needs to see home or my face and feel safe enough to go right back to sleep. Just recently, he had been very upset about not getting a piece of candy and was making this known loudly as we drove and eventually fell asleep. We got home, I laid him on the couch, and he woke up some time later asking about the candy and it sounded like he was just finishing the sentence he had fallen asleep saying. He didn't remember the rest of the ride or being brought in the house, he just remembered what he was upset about.

When I think about being carried by the Savior, through those very alone times, I know that in Him I am totally safe.

I also know that I may not remember Him carrying me, like my son not realizing I have brought him into our home, but I trust that He is.
And though, at times I get back on my knees repeating the same complaint, or requesting the same blessing, or thanking the same things, I know that I have a loving Father that is listening, holding me close and carrying me back home.

I just need to open my spiritual eyes for a second and take a look and just trust.

That Tree

Today was sort of a monumental day in my life in a way.

We cut down a living tree.

A big tree.

This tree had been planted probably ten years ago much too close to the block wall. We were starting to see cracks in that wall and talked about taking it down.

Then the neighbor started mentioning how the pods from the tree were falling in her pool and messing up her pool filter and could we do something about it.

If you have ever seen pods from desert trees, you might understand what a mess they are! The trees here don't just make a beautiful mess once a year. These trees are constantly dropping pods, and when they dry, the pods break open and out come the seeds and the pods are very thick skinned and make great crunching sounds when you step on them in shoes, but hurt pretty bad in bare feet.

Anyway, with urging from the neighbor, we decided to cut it down.

I had no idea.

I had no idea how confused the birds would be as they came by later in the day, to find one of their stopping spots gone.

I had no idea how bare that part of the fence would look.

I had no idea I would be able to see the neighbors windows and their lights on.

I had no idea how much shade that tree provided.

I had no idea how it would change the view from my chair by the window where I am writing.

I had no idea how  much I would miss that blasted messy tree.

I know there will be a follow up post to this, because I have some unfinished thoughts. But for right now, I am somewhat mourning the loss. In the long run, when we plant other trees in better spots, I'm sure I will be glad we did it.

But right now, with the birds, I am missing that tree and I'm sorry.