I love chocolate! No really, it's bad. I love hot chocolate, chocolate cake, certain chocolate bars. Yeah, I've gotten to be kind of a snob about it. There is certain chocolate I won't even eat, because it just doesn't taste good enough. I may not be a chocolate sommelier, but I can keep training.
Which brings me to the realization that I have a problem. Yep, an addiction.
So a few months ago, it became pretty clear to me I needed to do something about it. But the holidays were coming and really??? Besides we only get about 2 weeks of the year when it is actually cold enough here to drink hot chocolate and I love it!
After realizing I needed to take action, but not really having the motivation, I kept the thought rattling around in my brain. Then I saw that a woman named Wendy Speake who is in my Christian Writer's group was having a 40 day sugar fast. So I signed up. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1769909659899118/
It was starting in January, and that worked out for me. Best of all, the idea was not just to eliminate sugar, but it was also to fill up with Christ. Now that I could get on board with!
I don't think I've ever done a real 40 day fast. Not even back in my Catholic school days during Lent. Yes, we all joked about giving up candy for 40 days, but back then it was a whole lot easier. We only got candy at school on Valentine's day, right before Christmas, and Easter. Plus, I was never truly focused on the purpose of giving up something in preparation of Easter.
I have truly welcomed this learning opportunity. I have been fed spiritually, been hungry physically, been proud, been humbled, felt empty, felt full, felt the Spirit, felt spiritually empty. And, the 40 days isn't up yet!
I know that before Jesus started His ministry, He fasted for 40 days. That speaks volumes! The purpose of fasting is to get closer to God and be spiritually prepared for the ministry or mission He has for us.
Let me share some of what I've experienced.
The first 10 days were rough! I found myself trying to fill up on any food that didn't have sugar in it! Really! That led to my first humbling realization. I was still trying to fill up fear, loneliness, exhaustion, etc. with food. I came to realize that was what all that sugar chasing was for. I knew I needed and wanted more than that! Each day of her fast we have focused on a particular set of scriptures, mostly in the book of Matthew and podcasts that have been uplifting. I started spending more time in scripture, more time in prayer (mostly for help to not succumb to the temptation) and more time evaluating myself and my intentions. For example, I decided to also fast from getting on the scale. I did not want this to turn into a numbers driven fast.
Then I started noticing that the cravings were pretty much at bay and that I was filling up on better food. Which was super exciting because I really did want the good stuff. But also, I was finding not just wanting better food, I wanted to be filling up mentally and spiritually with better things. I wanted what would stick with me during the day and what would stick with me when I was wavering in my mind and in my spirit.
About this time, I noticed that my mind was getting much clearer. I was thinking better, I wasn't nearly as tired all the time. I also noticed a bit more when the Spirit was prompting me to say or do something. That said, I'm finding I need to focus on that more. Because even still I'm finding how often I ignore those promptings.
So then came the pride. Yup, it blasted me. "Hey, I'm totally doing this, no sugar for 3 weeks, I've got this! Plus, I think maybe a few pounds came off because my pants were fitting better. Nothing like that to make a woman proud, right? Ugh!! Again, a painful reminder of my humanness and how much I need to overcome! I also noticed that I was starting to snack, yes healthy snacks, sugar free but still snacking, which I wanted to also get rid of! Time to fill up on humble pie again!
Now, with less than 2 weeks left, I'm noticing that 40 days is much longer than I realized, and yet not long enough. The snacking habit and the cravings are coming back, reminding me of where I was and where I don't want to go again. Reminding me that as I've gotten more energy back and am doing more, I'm doing less for my spirit. Reminding me that I need help. Just like my eating life, in my real life I need the power of my Savior. I cannot do this without Him. The song, "I Need Thee Every Hour" has come to mind. Oh how I need Him.
This fast has been so good for me! I'm looking forward already to Lent, because this year unlike any other, I will have a better appreciation for the season leading up to Easter. It for sure has helped me appreciate my Savior and what He did to prepare for His ministry. I know full well I couldn't go 40 days without food and water, but He didn't ask me to. I just need to follow Him the best I can.
Thank you Wendy Speake, Asheritah Ciuciu, Elisa Pulliam, Kasia Gilbert, Sarah Washington Bragg, Sarah Leach, Katie Reid, Becky Keife, Jane Manka, for teaching me, and to the many women in the group who have been so supportive! It has been a wonderful journey, I'm so glad it's not over yet!
It was starting in January, and that worked out for me. Best of all, the idea was not just to eliminate sugar, but it was also to fill up with Christ. Now that I could get on board with!
I don't think I've ever done a real 40 day fast. Not even back in my Catholic school days during Lent. Yes, we all joked about giving up candy for 40 days, but back then it was a whole lot easier. We only got candy at school on Valentine's day, right before Christmas, and Easter. Plus, I was never truly focused on the purpose of giving up something in preparation of Easter.
I have truly welcomed this learning opportunity. I have been fed spiritually, been hungry physically, been proud, been humbled, felt empty, felt full, felt the Spirit, felt spiritually empty. And, the 40 days isn't up yet!
I know that before Jesus started His ministry, He fasted for 40 days. That speaks volumes! The purpose of fasting is to get closer to God and be spiritually prepared for the ministry or mission He has for us.
Let me share some of what I've experienced.
The first 10 days were rough! I found myself trying to fill up on any food that didn't have sugar in it! Really! That led to my first humbling realization. I was still trying to fill up fear, loneliness, exhaustion, etc. with food. I came to realize that was what all that sugar chasing was for. I knew I needed and wanted more than that! Each day of her fast we have focused on a particular set of scriptures, mostly in the book of Matthew and podcasts that have been uplifting. I started spending more time in scripture, more time in prayer (mostly for help to not succumb to the temptation) and more time evaluating myself and my intentions. For example, I decided to also fast from getting on the scale. I did not want this to turn into a numbers driven fast.
Then I started noticing that the cravings were pretty much at bay and that I was filling up on better food. Which was super exciting because I really did want the good stuff. But also, I was finding not just wanting better food, I wanted to be filling up mentally and spiritually with better things. I wanted what would stick with me during the day and what would stick with me when I was wavering in my mind and in my spirit.
About this time, I noticed that my mind was getting much clearer. I was thinking better, I wasn't nearly as tired all the time. I also noticed a bit more when the Spirit was prompting me to say or do something. That said, I'm finding I need to focus on that more. Because even still I'm finding how often I ignore those promptings.
So then came the pride. Yup, it blasted me. "Hey, I'm totally doing this, no sugar for 3 weeks, I've got this! Plus, I think maybe a few pounds came off because my pants were fitting better. Nothing like that to make a woman proud, right? Ugh!! Again, a painful reminder of my humanness and how much I need to overcome! I also noticed that I was starting to snack, yes healthy snacks, sugar free but still snacking, which I wanted to also get rid of! Time to fill up on humble pie again!
Now, with less than 2 weeks left, I'm noticing that 40 days is much longer than I realized, and yet not long enough. The snacking habit and the cravings are coming back, reminding me of where I was and where I don't want to go again. Reminding me that as I've gotten more energy back and am doing more, I'm doing less for my spirit. Reminding me that I need help. Just like my eating life, in my real life I need the power of my Savior. I cannot do this without Him. The song, "I Need Thee Every Hour" has come to mind. Oh how I need Him.
This fast has been so good for me! I'm looking forward already to Lent, because this year unlike any other, I will have a better appreciation for the season leading up to Easter. It for sure has helped me appreciate my Savior and what He did to prepare for His ministry. I know full well I couldn't go 40 days without food and water, but He didn't ask me to. I just need to follow Him the best I can.
Thank you Wendy Speake, Asheritah Ciuciu, Elisa Pulliam, Kasia Gilbert, Sarah Washington Bragg, Sarah Leach, Katie Reid, Becky Keife, Jane Manka, for teaching me, and to the many women in the group who have been so supportive! It has been a wonderful journey, I'm so glad it's not over yet!
