New Book for Parents

I want to share with you a new book that a member of a Christian writer's group I am part of has helped to write! I haven't read the whole thing, yet. What I have read is making me stop and contemplate and pray.
I am in no way a perfect mom, or even close to it! But like most moms, I have the best intentions. So when I mess up, I feel terrible! I love what I am reading in this book about focusing on the things that drive me crazy and evaluating how Heavenly Father would want me to deal with it. I love the images they use to make me think about how using scripture to raise my children needs to be not from a punishment mentality but from a guidance mentality.

"Do you use Scripture when you’re frustrated and angry? God’s Word was never intended to be a hammer in the hand of an angry mom, but a surgeon’s scalpel used in tandem with the Holy Spirit’s guidance."  from Triggers page 33 by Amber Lia and Wendy Speake .

I am excited to see how this book redirects my efforts in parenting more to the scriptures and the Spirit as I try to make the changes I feel I need to make.
I hope it will help you too!

If you decide to read it and want to share some thoughts or experiences on how it has helped or guided you, I would love for you to share!

Morning Chaos (The Dream)

After a very harried morning I was trying to entertain my boys that night with a bedtime story of this mom and how she envisions it to be.

Her eyes open at 5:30 am on the dot and she feels rested and energized for the day. After spending time on her knees, she reads her scriptures and jots down several passages that have enlightened her mind.

She looks at the clock, realizing it is time to make the muffins. The peanut butter, whole wheat muffins with chocolate chips and peanut butter frosting. While she is making these muffins she is singing in her amazingly awesome operatic voice, lovely good morning songs to her children who waken to the smell of the muffins, the sun shining, and their mother singing.

Then with loving hugs to all she warms their cold clothes in the dryer and helps the younger 2 get dressed.  While also smoothing hair, locating back packs, shoes, and permission slips. She calmly reminds each kid where they need to be and when, while she makes lunches.

She goes to the closet and finds her jeans, cute shirt and hoodie and decides that not only is makeup not necessary, but neither is brushing her hair.

As she gets the one child who is not wanting to go to school today, presumably because he doesn't want to leave his beautiful, charming, very entertaining, and encyclopedic mother because he would prefer to be at home under her tutelage, she opens the door to find that all the neighbors suspected his reluctance this morning and are out with balloons and best wishes signs for him as they cheer him into the car and confetti inexplicably falls from the sky.

On the drive to school she turns on the radio to uplifting music that has a great beat and as they are bopping to the music at a red light, other kids in other, not so fun vans, are looking jealously at the amazing moves their mom is making from the driver seat while also singing, on key, to the song. As they arrive at school, throngs of other kids come running and beg to be added to their carpool.

At lunch each child opens their healthy and tasty lunch, to the much drooling of their mates who beg them to ask their mom to call and share recipes.

After school, the same mother picks up carpool to and begins a joke telling fest in which she remembers every punchline. Everyone arrives home ready for a snack, which of course is homemade chocolate chip cookies served on doilies on glass plates with ice cold milk.

The smell of dinner is wafting from the crockpot and after homework is done, everyone plays happily while dinner finishes cooking.

Everyone cheerfully comes in to help set the table for dinner and after a prayer on the food, every child says, "Oh yum, I love everything you cook Mom." Mom of course smiles knowingly as she thinks about how nutrient packed this meal is and they don't even know it! Then there is deep discussion about world events, including solutions to said events.

As the family is putting the dinner dishes away, the floor is also getting swept and of course everyone is singing. After clean up is family game time. The t.v. is covered with dust because no one ever watches it anymore. No one even wants to watch it, because it is so boring.

Then at bedtime, everyone puts on their cozy jammies, comes in for scriptures and prayers with smiles and loving actions to all. They get immediately into bed and ask for a story before sleep.

This is the story they get, with much laughter from all as they realize that mom has indeed lost her mind and is sleep telling this story from the floor she will find herself on at about midnight when she wakes up, freezing cold.

This same mom kisses each sleeping kid, tucks them in and thinks back over the day, that didn't go anything like the story, but fully plans on trying again tomorrow.

Got any good jokes?

Disciples

Sometimes it seems as though Christians aren't "allowed" to have problems, difficulties, challenges or trials.
It seems that for many, the admission that we do means we aren't "Christian" enough. We must not be faithful enough, or we don't pray enough, or maybe we simply just aren't good enough.

Which is all silly.

Being a follower of Christ is a process. A lifetime one. We won't get there over night.

The Savior understood this and, I think, tried to point it out as He chose His disciples.

As He was walking by the Sea of Galilee in Matthew 4:19 it says "...Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men."

He did NOT say, follow me, you are fishers of men. He alluded to the fact that becoming a disciple, a follower, a believer, is something that He will help us to become.

That means that much of our lives will be in learning to serve others, as He taught His disciples. In reaching out to the needy, and brokenhearted as He taught them. In teaching (for us, through the Spirit) as He did with them. It will be in the little ways we heal others, as He showed His disciples.

And sometimes it will be in a long and painful and lonely journey, as His was. We cannot forget that He asked His disciples to watch with Him, Matt 26:4. They fell asleep. He suffered, carrying the weight of all of our transgressions, on His own. He watched as Peter, his dear friend, betrayed Him. He went to the cross surrounded by throngs of people calling for His execution. He died in the most humbling of circumstances, nearly naked, painfully nailed to a cross, in absolute innocence of any wrongdoing.

When we look at the journey of His disciples, the ones who walked, talked, ate, and journeyed with him, we can see that their journey was full of ups and downs. These are the very men He said he would make into "fishers of men".

I love Peter because he reminds me in many ways of me. The one to blurt out the questions everyone else is smart enough not to say out loud. But as the Savior teaches him, he gets it and embraces it as much as he can. Even at the end of His life, as the Savior is letting Peter know he will betray Him, Peter cannot fathom it. The depth of his sorrow in his moments of weakness I can comprehend. The absolute love Jesus has for Peter and His mercy for this friend is one I cannot fully comprehend, but believe in and trust in.

While on the Sea of Galilee a storm arose and His disciples were scared. Isn't that sometimes how we feel in the storms of our lives, scared? I have. And He then asks in Matthew 8:26 "Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?' Yes, his disciples were scared. Yes, the Lord questions them. But He never said, Ok, enough! Get out of the boat. You just don't get it. I'm done with you.

Why???

Because He knew what He was making! He was making disciples. Believers. Healers. Teachers.

And they had to learn. Step by step. Sometimes painful steps.

They also had the good times, the times they healed. When they taught. They had years at His feet to learn. The chance to witness miracle after miracle in the lives of those who came to Jesus in faith, and those who came asking for the faith as well. There was the man in Mark 9:24 who brought his child to be healed, but found he lacked the faith and asked for it.

His disciples had to learn why they could not cast out devils. In Mark 9:29 He teaches them  that "This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting."

If the Savior had to teach all these things to the very men who were His closest friends, the ones who saw Him heal, cast out devils, feed the hungry, guide the sinner, why do we expect that we will experience less? Why do we think our lives will look perfect and be easy?

If we truly want to be His disciples, we too will have to learn how in the struggles as well as in the good times.

I have a friend who has had seemingly nothing but struggles her entire life. And yet, she has been one of my greatest teachers as I have watched her time and again be Christlike.

The struggles and trials are real. Sometimes they hurt. Sometimes they seem to last forever. Sometimes it is lonely. These things don't mean we aren't faithful enough, believing enough or good enough. In fact, it may mean that He has chosen us to do the good work. He knows what He can make of us.

And as we hold on to our faith, even when we are also asking for the faith we need, He will make all of those struggles worth it.

Then we will be the disciples He knows we can be.

The Do Over

Why is it that the very trait that we see in someone else, that is driving us crazy, is often a trait that we have? Have you ever noticed that?

For example, one of my kids tends to not be very patient and it can drive me nuts!! Ya know what? I am not a very patient person!!!

I have another kid who often doesn't put things away. Lately I have noticed that the very things he is not putting away are the same items of my own that I am picking up at the end of the day.
And it can drive you bonkers!

Years ago, maybe 20,  this movie came out about a guy who relived the same day over and over and over again, it was called Groundhog Day. We went to see this movie with friends and it was one of those times that if we hadn't been with friends I would have walked out. The movie drove me absolutely nuts! I couldn't stand it!

It was kind of funny for a while, but then it became annoying and then downright boring, because it was the same thing over and over with only very small changes as the character chose to make them.

Now I really don't remember much of it, because I truly disliked it so much I didn't want to remember, or ever see it again.
What I do remember is the guy was pretty much a jerk. And as he got to relive the same day he could keep being a jerk, or he could do something different, be nice to someone, help someone, whatever and it didn't take him too long to figure out that no matter what he did one day that it would all be erased. No one but him would remember and he would start again the next day.

Eventually he did a lot of self improvement, and became a much nicer person as he learned what people really thought of him, as he saw the benefits of helping others.
At least that is what I remember of the movie.

I was thinking about that as I woke up this morning after having yelled at one of my kids the night before. A trait that I loathe, and one I am working on constantly.
This morning I was thinking of Anne of Green Gables (one of my all time favorite book series and I even love the movies) and there is a part where Anne is with Marilla and as they are talking about a mistake Anne had made, Marilla reminds her that tomorrow is a new day, fresh with no mistakes in it.

Then I started thinking about Groundhog Day and how the main character had a fresh chance each time he woke up to live that day differently. He could choose to live it better than he had before or not. And he sometimes choose badly.

Our lives are made up of days. We don't get to live a day over, but each day we wake up to a new, fresh one, with no mistakes. We get to choose what we are going to do with it. Sometimes we will choose many good things and sometimes we will just plain blow it.

Our Heavenly Father also lets us start new. I think He is waiting for us to wake up, see His amazing new day and decide what good we are going to do. When I remind myself to think of it that way, I am much more likely to not only be thankful for the new day, but more determined to try and conquer the bad habits and find the good.

I am finding that when I start my morning thanking Him and spending time reading the scriptures and the messages He has for me, I hear His voice more. I need that voice. I desperately need that voice to guide me through my day and through my actions.

So the movie that drove me absolutely nuts, is actually a lot like my life. I can start each day new, fresh with no mistakes. God is on my side and wants me and you and all of us to succeed in becoming a new and different person through what we learn each day. The changes may be very small and almost imperceptible to us, but they aren't to Him. And when we mess up, which we all inevitably do, He forgives us and loves us into a whole new day.

If you were wondering

Late last night I was writing a post only to have problems with my keyboard and have sticking keys. I couldn't use "enter" or "shift" and so I just tried to get some ideas down and save it, only to accidently post it. I removed the post, but if you are wondering what happened, that was the story behind the very rough, weird post!

Where Will I Put Him?

Like most we are putting away the Christmas things. Finding the spaces for the new toys. Putting the gadgets in the tool boxes, etc. Hauling the boxes back out to put the Christmas decorations away.

At this time of year I find myself thinking about where I am going to put Him.

The greatest gift I have been given is that of my Savior.

But I don't want to put Him away with the decorations.

And I don't want Him on a shelf collecting dust.

He doesn't belong in the toy box or tool box.

He belongs in my heart and in my actions, my words and my love.

We go to a significant amount of trouble to choose just the right gifts for those we love. After they are received the recipient needs to find the right home/use for it.

So do I.

This year I want to remember the gift I have been given and keep it out where I can share with others like that amazing box of chocolate, or warm someone like those soft blankets, heal like the first aid kit, expand thinking like the classic book.

When I think of my Heavenly Father and the precious gift He gave us, carefully chosen and painfully yet graciously given, I know He deserves a very special place. A place that I can give.

This year, I don't want to put Him anywhere except for the heart of me. I want to be who He wants me to be. I want to help who He wants me to help. I want to give up all my foolish and vain ambitions and recognize what He made me for.

Where will you put your gift?

The Artist

This Art masterpiece class I took is still rolling around in my brain. (It's ok, there's not much up there that can get hurt)
There was one class that disturbed me deeply.
Again, we were talking about pieces and the artists that created them.
We started looking at and talking about a Rembrandt.
One piece, "The Man With the Golden Helmet" was typical of his style and the way he used light and dark and how he captured the face.
Then the teacher said that the art world was rocked in 1985 when it was discovered that Rembrandt didn't paint this piece.
Apparently one of his students did.

Was it still a masterpiece?

Was it still great?


It really got me thinking. Is a masterpiece a masterpiece only because of who created it? Or is it a masterpiece because of what was created?

In looking into art history it appears that the person who created it is of the utmost importance and that the actual piece itself may or may not be of the greatest quality or of significance in what was accomplished. Back several hundred years ago, a big name was what collectors clamored for and is still true today.

So if something is a masterpiece, not because of what it is, but rather because of who created it, what can that tell us about ourselves?

We are created by the Master. We may not think much of who we are. Maybe we are plain and unknown. But that doesn't matter, because we were created by God.

Maybe we are complex, or ugly, or brash, or distorted, or confusing. It doesn't matter! We were made by God!

Have you looked at "great art"? It is literally all over the place!! Some pieces are pretty, some are loud, some are just plain ugly. Some are huge, some are tiny. They can be noisy, weird, tiring, political, spiritual, fresh, intriguing, restful, scary, etc.

The bottom line is, we are all created by the Master Artist. We are worth a lot simply because of Who created us. Can we begin to believe that the person we see in the mirror is a masterpiece? If not, is it because we aren't sure Who created us? Is it because we are too busy comparing who we are to another totally different piece?

Did you know that even the "great" artists often did sketches first, or painted and repainted pieces until they felt they were "right"? They didn't just sit down at a canvas throw some paint on, step back and say viola, (well ok, maybe Jackson Pollock did)  at least not all the time. Often, they painted, stepped back, went back to it and painted over it.

If we could all accept that we are a work created by a Master, He has a sketch in mind. He can work with what is on the canvas and make it the masterpiece he intended it to be. Then could we look around us at others and see that as well?

Often it is easier to see the work of the Master in others and not so much in ourselves. And too often we forget that we are a work in progress. We are not a "perfect" in progress, just a work in progress. Which is work. We know that work requires planning, patience, sweat, time, etc. He isn't done with us yet.

Don't underestimate the Artist! He is the Master Artist.  He knows what He is doing even if we are too close to see it clearly!

The more we get to know the Artist, the better we can understand what He is trying to create in us.

I will never forget a time in my life when we were going through a particularly big challenge and the unsaid question from friends seemed to be, "Is your faith in the right place? Maybe this wouldn't be happening to you if you didn't have the faith you have." The funny thing was that my faith couldn't have been any stronger right then because I knew absolutely that it was only because of God that we were making it through. There was no other way.

For me that is an amazing part, just a corner, of the masterpiece He is making out of me.