40 Day Sugar Fast

Last January, I participated in Wendy Speake's 40 day sugar fast. It was life changing!

Because of that I want to share a few thoughts as well as Wendy's new book.

There are a lot of things that I am willing to give up for a short period of time, but sugar is a tough one for me. Doing so made me very aware of some bad habits I was in. Turning to chocolate when I was tired, lonely, bored, or just craving. But that never made me feel better for long. Often I just had to have more. Sometimes I regretted it quickly because I knew better. During this fast, I came to realize it had become a false god for me. 

What I really wanted was to be filled with Jesus, the love of my Heavenly Father, and the power of the Holy Ghost. 

I learned how weak I am, and ultimately how strong He is. And also how faithful He is. He did not leave me in something as seemingly simple or unimportant as a sugar fast. 

I went through the pride cycle. I was not happy at the beginning. Then I tried to replace sugar with other things (in marched chips and salsa). Then I got past the cravings and got a little prideful that I was doing just fine. Then I was humbled to realize that it was only because I had Heavenly help. 

Wanting to get closer to Him cleaned up my habits, my thinking, my desires. 

If you are wanting to experience some interesting transformation both physically and spiritually, I highly recommend doing the 40 day sugar fast!
#WendySpeake #40daysugarfast #Spiritualtransformation #Lifechanging

Feasting Time

When one of our boys was really little, he had some eating issues. Well, ok, the reality was he just hardly ate anything. I vividly remember getting him ready for a bath one night and looking at his little body, now about 18 months old. His tummy was big and distended looking atop the scrawniest little legs and I suddenly had visions of the babies in third world countries and fear entered my heart.

He had no medical issues at that time that would create this. It wasn't until years later that we discovered he had serious texture issues relating to food and lots of other things he couldn't express until he was older. I had a friend whose mother-in-law was a dietician and spoke to her about my concerns. She gave us some much needed advice and said something that has stayed with me. "He knows how it feels to be empty, but he doesn't know how it feels to be full."

Wow! In a world where abundance of food is readily available and snacks are everywhere, it can be hard to imagine in our first world coziness to comprehend not feeling full.

And yet, do we experience this spiritually?

When was the last time you felt spiritually full?

Was it one day? A moment? An extended period of your life? If so, what led to that?

Was it from reading a passage in scripture that spoke to your spirit so deeply, you felt completely loved?

Was it through the voice of the Spirit whispering just what you needed to hear?

Was it the power of a blessing?

Was it a prayer answered in a way only you could appreciate?

If we are not ever feeling "full" spiritually, we need to!

What prevents that full feeling?
Is it that we lack the spiritual food we need?

Recently I had a day I felt full to overflowing! I could not stop myself from praying in pure gratitude for God's blessings to me, for His strength in my weakness, for the family and friends to be with me in this journey. And now weeks later, I'm trying to remember what led to that. I remember waking and praying and spending time in scripture. I went about all of my daily craziness, carpool, volunteering in the classroom, the store, and in between all of those things I listened to uplifting music. And somehow my spirit just could not be contained. I was literally spilling words of gratitude out.

I think it was that I was feasting. I had been going to Him regularly in prayer and spending time feasting on the word. I was filling up my spirit with good music. I was giving my spirit exactly what it needed and doing it abundantly, and then I was full.

I'm not sure this will happen every day, but that full feeling makes me want more. Of all the cravings I've ever had, this by far is the best one.

Psalms 107:9 "For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness."

Just like filling our bellies takes some work and some time, so does filling our souls. But it is the most satisfying fufillment we will ever have!

If you need me to pray for you in being filled up, respond to this blog and I will get right on it! If you know someone who is empty, pray for them to be filled, get specific! God loves to answer our prayers for each other!

What Do You Do?

What do you do when the answer to your many prayers is, "No."

How do you accept that you will not be healed, your family will continue to struggle, the job you want will not be forthcoming, the child you love will continue to make bad choices, the person who has hurt you will never apologize, the help you are seeking will not be provided, that your lot is to endure?

How do you endure when your heart is absolutely broken, your faith is stretched to the breaking point, you can barely convince yourself to keep breathing because even that feels like more than you can do?

I remember hard things coming my way in college, and making it. Somehow those things seem so miniscule now. Which means that someday what I am enduring now will seem so small.

But if I survived back then, I can survive now. So looking back, how did I do it?

I kept doing the things I knew were good and right, even when it seemed like I was simply going through the motions. I went to church, read my scriptures, served others- even when and especially when- I was dying inside.

I didn't give up on the notion that this was all in God's hands. There were many times I wondered if my prayers were reaching past the ceiling, but I would not stop calling on Him, hoping He was listening, waiting for His answers.

What do I do now? These very same things. Only this time more often than not, when I'm reading my scriptures I'm searching for those words that bring me peace, scrolling through for wisdom lurking in the spaces I have glossed over. Looking for wisdom in the white spaces. Waiting for breathings from the Spirit in the quiet loneliness.

I serve others a little more aware that their struggles are as real and painful as mine, so the service is little more sincere and a lot more from a place of compassion.

I refuse to believe this isn't all in His hands, but that doesn't mean I have gotten wise enough to let Him carry it. Unfortunately, I still have a lot of work in that area. I still struggle even knowing how to turn it all over to Him. I hear people say it, I hear it in songs, I just haven't figured out how exactly to do it right now. Instead I  tend to say, "I give up, I don't care anymore." Which is far from true.

I dig a bit deeper in holding onto trust that the Creator of this life knows what He is doing even when I don't and that all things will work together for my good. Trust that He is my adoring Father and wants to give me great things, in His own time. Trust that He will not let me go, even when I am wondering where He is.

I find myself spending more time trying to discover who He is and what He wants because that calls my attention away from myself. I'm finding that the more I try to discover Him, the less I worry about my own circumstances.

The Hunt

In the shadow of my mind’s eye, I vaguely see the trunks of gigantic trees dotting the soft green grass. Glints of bright color light up the grass in hundreds of places.  The chatter is all around me as hundreds of little kids stand there with baskets. I’m standing with my parents and grandparents not really understanding what is going on. A loud voice from somewhere announces that the little kids will go first when the sound is made, followed by another sound for the next group and so on. Then the seeking began. Holding our baskets we all toddled forward to the closest bit of color and picked it up. The eggs were pretty colors and attractive, but often disappeared under the hands of someone bigger or faster. As a very young child the wonder of having one of those brightly colored eggs was wonderful.

As an adult I have since watched other large volume Easter Egg hunts and have observed several things that seem especially poignant today. Have you seen the very small toddlers find one egg and being so enamored with the one, that they could care less about the treat inside?  Then there are those collecting as many as possible, but not really realizing anything is inside. There are the kids who know there is candy inside and are scooping up every egg they can find, even willing to take ones in front of someone else.  There are the older kids who realize they need to leave the obvious ones on the ground for the little kids and start seeking a bit. Many of the oldest head straight for the trees or high spots or start looking in the unusual places because they want the challenge.

As I was watching my kids hunt for eggs, and other kids hunting I thought about the kind of parent our Heavenly Father is. He very much wants us to find Him. At first, there are signs everywhere. If we are looking at all we can see His majesty in everything. Little kids tend to do this. They take the time to examine a flower up close or lay on the ground and watch the sky. Like the egg hunt, they likely don’t realize the treasure they found or where it came from, they are just enjoying this beautiful thing. In time, we learn to appreciate His gifts a bit more as we realize the “sweetness” in them. We learn that a flower may be more than beautiful, it may be able to scent a whole room. Or perhaps it can take a person to a special event in their memory.

We begin to look a little more for His gifts after a while. They may be a bit less appreciated as we have gotten accustomed to seeing them daily. But every now and then we catch a glimpse and realize He is there and still giving us good gifts.

Eventually we may have “matured” a bit and we can’t find the eggs so easily. They are there. They are still freely offered, but they are more elusive. We have to put more effort into finding them. Our amazing Father has never taken those sweet treats away, but He is expecting us to do a bit more work. Deuteronomy 4:29 states “But if from thence thou shalt seek the Lord thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul.”

Our Father wants to be found. He wants to make Himself known to us. He glories in daily blessing us with His little treasures. And He knows that the seeking is part of the adventure, part of the fun, part of what makes the finding of His treasures exciting!  Just like looking for eggs as a kid, He gives us incremental steps for the finding. Easy and very visable at first, but in time knowing we need more of a challenge.

“Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his face continually.” 1 Chronicles 16:11.

How do we seek for the Lord?

How do we seek for a child? We think of their interests and where they like to be and look there.

Where does the Lord like to be? I find His handprint in His creations. When I take a close look at a sunset, a flower, a bird, a lizard or a mountain, I get to know Him better. I get to see Him as a diverse creator with an amazing imagination (seriously, think of a seahorse), I see him as a master artist (recall a beautiful sunset), an incredible scientist (think of the design of a bird’s wing).

Where is He? I see evidence of Him all around me. I see Him in people taking care of someone else, a mother drying a child’s tears, a father working endless hours to provide for his family, a son taking care of a sick parent, a child being kind to the new kid.

How can I get to know Him better? My answer to this is the scriptures. If you want to get to know a person, their autobiography is probably a good place to go. When I read the Old Testament, I see a God who would not give up on His people, even though they gave Him every reason to do so. The more I read, the better I understand what He wants to give His children, and how very much His children do not understand. When I read the New Testament, I see the evidence of an incomprehensible love. The giving of a beloved Son as the means for meeting the demands of justice and the unbelievable obedience of the most loving Son.

If we are struggling to see our Father and get to know Him, it may be time to look around at the little eggs of love He has left lying around. See them with fresh eyes, take the time to examine more closely what He has put right in front of us.  It may also be time to look around a little more at how He is blessing not only us but others through the gift of each person He put in our lives. We should also daily, be checking out His works in the scriptures. He has revealed Himself in them and we can get to know Him better if we are reading them regularly.

He wants us to get to know Him, He has put evidences all around us. But He won’t do the hunting for us! We have to do some of the work! And that work will be so worth the reward of the sweetest relationship we will ever know!

Scripture Relations

Who do you relate to in the scriptures?

Are you a Job figure? Has the Lord allowed nearly everything to be taken from you? Your wealth, your family, friends, home? Your health? Are you wondering if there is anything left to take?

Are you a Peter? A follower with faith that some moments is way up there, you can say with certainty who Christ is, and then moments later be faltering and not wanting to drown in the waves.

Are you a Martha? Wanting to have the Savior with you, but finding that in trying to ready everything you fail to see Him right there wanting you to sit with Him and listen?

Are you a Sarah? Believing that the Lord is there, but laughing when it is suggested that He will work a miracle in you?

Are you a Paul? Someone who has scoffed at the notion of a Savior, ridiculed those who believe?

Are you the woman at the well? Ashamed of the circumstances you are living in because they go against what you know to be true?

Are you the woman suffering for years with a health issue that has exhausted your resources, and your spirit?

Are you the man with the child who is full of a bad spirit that is tearing up your child?

The scriptures are full of people. People who have experienced all of these things. Things that can draw us away from Him. Things that turn our heads and hearts.

But there is a common theme with all of them, in the wide variety of circumstances they were in.

Could they choose to believe?

Could they choose to change?

Could they choose to have faith?

Could they choose to listen?

Job had everything taken from him: family, friends, home, wealth, health. But he would not choose to walk away from God.
Peter, in the darkest hour, in a raging storm, would call out and reach toward the Savior.
Martha would accept rebuke and listen.
Sarah would laugh and then accept the miracle she had waited many years for.
Paul would allow his heart to be changed and embrace new belief, new hope and a life of teaching.
The woman at the well would admit her circumstances to the Lord and beg for the living water that she so desperately wanted.
The woman with the issue of blood would, even in her exhaustion and weakened state, reach out her hand to touch the garment of the Lord.
The man would recognize his lack of enough faith, to ask for the faith he needed to believe that the Savior could cast out the devil and heal his broken child.
I love these people!

Their stories speak to my heart.

I feel their brokenness, I feel their speck of faith.

I compare myself to them at different times, in different situations.

The gift of these stories is precious to me, because I know I'm not alone in the times I'm struggling to believe, and in the times that my heart wants to sing out from the roof top!

I hope, if you are struggling in your faith, that you will find someone in the scriptures to relate to. That you will stand with them in your struggle and hold on, hold out, and wait upon the Lord.

I hope that if you are bursting at the seams in your faith, that you will boldly announce, "This is Christ, the Son of the Living God." And be not ashamed. That you will point out and call out the miracles you see and the truths that are all around us.

I hope that the scriptures will help you in wherever your walk in faith may be now and in the days you live out. They help me, they guide me, they give me strength.

God lives! He sent His Son, Jesus Christ to you and to me. Be not afraid. Only believe.

Fasting and Preparing

Hi, my name is Cheryl. I am a sugarholic. More specifically a chocoholic.

I love chocolate! No really, it's bad. I love hot chocolate, chocolate cake, certain chocolate bars. Yeah, I've gotten to be kind of a snob about it. There is certain chocolate I won't even eat, because it just doesn't taste good enough. I may not be a chocolate sommelier, but I can keep training.

Which brings me to the realization that I have a problem. Yep, an addiction.

So a few months ago, it became pretty clear to me I needed to do something about it. But the holidays were coming and really??? Besides we only get about 2 weeks of the year when it is actually cold enough here to drink hot chocolate and I love it! 

After realizing I needed to take action, but not really having the motivation, I kept the thought rattling around in my brain. Then I saw that a woman named Wendy Speake who is in my Christian Writer's group was having a 40 day sugar fast. So I signed up. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1769909659899118/

It was starting in January, and that worked out for me. Best of all, the idea was not just to eliminate sugar, but it was also to fill up with Christ. Now that I could get on board with!

I don't think I've ever done a real 40 day fast. Not even back in my Catholic school days during Lent. Yes, we all joked about giving up candy for 40 days, but back then it was a whole lot easier. We only got candy at school on Valentine's day, right before Christmas, and Easter. Plus, I was never truly focused on the purpose of giving up something in preparation of Easter.

I have truly welcomed this learning opportunity. I have been fed spiritually, been hungry physically, been proud, been humbled, felt empty, felt full, felt the Spirit, felt spiritually empty. And, the 40 days isn't up yet!

I know that before Jesus started His ministry, He fasted for 40 days. That speaks volumes! The purpose of fasting is to get closer to God and be spiritually prepared for the ministry or mission He has for us.

Let me share some of what I've experienced.

The first 10 days were rough! I found myself trying to fill up on any food that didn't have sugar in it! Really! That led to my first humbling realization. I was still trying to fill up fear, loneliness, exhaustion, etc. with food. I came to realize that was what all that sugar chasing was for. I knew I needed and wanted more than that! Each day of her fast we have focused on a particular set of scriptures, mostly in the book of Matthew and podcasts that have been uplifting. I started spending more time in scripture, more time in prayer (mostly for help to not succumb to the temptation) and more time evaluating myself and my intentions. For example, I decided to also fast from getting on the scale. I did not want this to turn into a numbers driven fast.

Then I started noticing that the cravings were pretty much at bay and that I was filling up on better food. Which was super exciting because I really did want the good stuff. But also, I was finding not just wanting better food, I wanted to be filling up mentally and spiritually with better things. I wanted what would stick with me during the day and what would stick with me when I was wavering in my mind and in my spirit.

About this time, I noticed that my mind was getting much clearer. I was thinking better, I wasn't nearly as tired all the time. I also noticed a bit more when the Spirit was prompting me to say or do something. That said, I'm finding I need to focus on that more. Because even still I'm finding how often I ignore those promptings.

So then came the pride. Yup, it blasted me. "Hey, I'm totally doing this, no sugar for 3 weeks, I've got this! Plus, I think maybe a few pounds came off because my pants were fitting better. Nothing like that to make a woman proud, right? Ugh!! Again, a painful reminder of my humanness and how much I need to overcome! I also noticed that I was starting to snack, yes healthy snacks, sugar free but still snacking, which I wanted to also get rid of! Time to fill up on humble pie again!

Now, with less than 2 weeks left, I'm noticing that 40 days is much longer than I realized, and yet not long enough. The snacking habit and the cravings are coming back, reminding me of where I was and where I don't want to go again. Reminding me that as I've gotten more energy back and am doing more, I'm doing less for my spirit. Reminding me that I need help. Just like my eating life, in my real life I need the power of my Savior. I cannot do this without Him. The song, "I Need Thee Every Hour" has come to mind. Oh how I need Him.

This fast has been so good for me! I'm looking forward already to Lent, because this year unlike any other, I will have a better appreciation for the season leading up to Easter. It for sure has helped me appreciate my Savior and what He did to prepare for His ministry. I know full well I couldn't go 40 days without food and water, but He didn't ask me to. I just need to follow Him the best I can.

Thank you Wendy Speake, Asheritah Ciuciu, Elisa Pulliam, Kasia Gilbert, Sarah Washington Bragg, Sarah Leach, Katie Reid, Becky Keife, Jane Manka, for teaching me, and to the many women in the group who have been so supportive! It has been a wonderful journey, I'm so glad it's not over yet!